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The Highwaymen of Cleveland

George Kirby

Friday, January 28th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 On my motor bike I started out in 1952,
Now half-a-century’s almost passed and I am feeling blue.
I’ve reached the age of 69 with no blot on my name,
Now I have just received a fine, I hang my head in shame.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I was on my way to the Riverside, to watch my favourite team,
And I didn’t see the hidden van with its invisible radar beam,
I know my journey wasn’t vital; I didn’t miss them kicking off,
But, for five miles only, I’d have thought that worth a ticking off.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Five miles too fast was all it took to make the camera flash,
Then they played it by the book and demanded all my cash.
Perhaps I’ve been a little naughty, it was an oversight,
But wanting money – pounds times forty – means I can’t sleep at night.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I’m not really one to shout, I do have bread well buttered,
But if for months I can’t eat out, I’ll be well and truly gutted.
I know how much they need my cheque, I’ve also heard a rumour,
But really they’ve made me a wreck; do they have no sense of humour?

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 75 pence the government gave me, enough for a bag of nuts,
I know my efforts will not save me, but at least I had the guts.
Dick Turpin in the days gone by was not a man to talk,
“Stand and deliver” he would cry, ’til they hanged him high in York.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 In 2000 it’s not so awful, they only want your cash,
And how’d they know you’d been unlawful? ‘Twas the highly-dreaded flash.
Unlike Turpin, I’ll not hang, nor shall I face suspension,
But forty pounds is an awful lot to pay out of my pension.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The three points’ penalty as well,
I think I’ll take up pottery,
To while away the boring hours,
And hope I win the lottery.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 www.theborobard.co.ukG

Notes

This was the first poem I wrote in my life when, at the age of 69 years, I fell foul of the law for the the first time.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-highwaymen-of-cleveland/