Football Poets

Grasshoppers of Zurich v Boro (20-10-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Tonight we see the Boro, pitched against the Swiss,
The Grasshoppers of Zurich: and who would miss this?
And the fans who chose to fly, and those who went by road’ll,
Hope to see a victory and hear a real Swiss yodel.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Seven-hundred plus, apparently made the lengthy trip,
And enjoyed their little taste of the Swiss fans’ comradeship,
Once the Norwegian referee had let the game commence,
The rivalry between the fans became much more intense.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 With the playing surface being not one of the best,
The start made by the Boro left one instantly impressed,
Within about a minute Mark Viduka was upended,
But Mendi’s shot’s so brilliantly saved: the ‘keeper was quite splendid.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 A Mark Viduka shot was also spurned,
But all admired the way in which he’d turned,
The corner’s cleared and they were on a run,
And the Boro were so lucky as they were almost ‘done.’

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 With ten minutes showing on the Cuckoo clock,
Doriva somehow picked the Grasshoppers’ lock,
He drove right through the Swiss defence,
And Hasselbaink’s finish? Sheer excellence.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 They were carved right open and we’ve started brightly,
Now a one-goal lead is ours, and ever so rightly,
Jimmy’s finish was real class: there’s no disrespect,
When I say that Doriva was the architect.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Nemeth missed a chance to make the score two-nil,
When he fluffed a cross from Mendi: if only looks could kill!
He should have had a shot but chose to play it back,
Which allowed the hosts to break and mount a swift attack.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Boro then enjoyed a truly massive stroke of luck,
Rogerio’s shot was parried then Eduardo struck,
‘Offside,’ said the linesman and his flag did rise,
But the television replays proved it otherwise.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 So, the very lucky Schwarzer was let off the hook,
The Swiss fans were frustrated and the stadium shook,
They were no doubt robbed of an equaliser,
And their manager’s now in need of a tranquilliser.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Chihab’s miscued clearance meant that Nemeth was then freed,
With a golden opportunity to double Boro’s lead,
But he scuffed it rather badly and was never in control,
Then he stood and watched, in agony, as it trickled wide of goal.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Rogerio let one fly but he didn’t catch it right,
The ball would not come down and was at an awkward height,
It missed the goal by ‘miles’ and might have left him feeling bitter,
Then a colleague made things worse when he missed an absolute sitter.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 It’s been a good half for the Boro, who’d regained some self-esteem,
And this first UEFA Cup tie has, so far, been like a dream,
We must be pleased with one nil and it’s been something of a canter,
Now let’s spend fifteen minutes just taking in the local banter.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 ———-

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Already, in this second half, Swiss confidence has risen,
And Schwarzer got his captain, Gareth Southgate, out of prison,
When he failed to clear his lines and was so close to being undone,
But in his ‘battle with Eduardo, our big Australian won.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Eduardo took a great delivery, so easily in his stride,
As he rose and saw his effort, agonisingly fly wide,
Then Doriva missed a sitter: let there be no ifs or buts,
As his colleagues and the Boro fans did their collective nuts.

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 We certainly need a second goal to kill off the Swiss,
They are gaining some momentum and that we can’t dismiss,
We’re looking rather edgy and we’re dropping far too deep,
So a second goal would help to put this game, at last, to sleep.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 They are getting ever closer, with attacks now unending,
And Mendi must get back to do a little more defending,
Parnaby needs help because the pressure will not stop,
And Schwarzer, to our great relief, puts one o’er the top.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Pogatetz saw yellow for some daft retaliation,
Though he certainly was fouled, he does have this reputation,
Then Nemeth joined him in the book and you’ll never guess the crime,
He left the field too slowly and was accused of wasting time.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Cabanas crossed a great ball in and Swiss fans really roared,
As Rogerio got his head to it and surely felt he’d scored,
As they sought that most elusive goal, with Boro now hemmed in,
But Schwarzer made a world-class save: our lead’s now wafer-thin.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 Both sides then make late changes, with the hosts still in the hunt,
They introduce a further striker and they now have three up front,
No matter how Zurich tried, the Boro were truly watertight,
Then the final whistle sounded: it’s been a truly special night.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 What a really wonderful start to this UEFA campaign,
The Grasshoppers of Zurich have been finally slain,
A great victory for the Boro that we must extol,
We won the opening ‘battle’ and saw the Swiss heads roll.