• Injury Time
    This season we’ve been living in injury time going to games on BT sport or live-stream feed and watching on aghast as fatalities climb. Torquay have earned so many points in extra time because of our players’ refusal to concede the result, that fans are calling it Gary time. In the autumn our team play […]
  • The Full English Final
    They went thousands of miles to reach Baku, To watch a north London derby, thanks to Uefa’s cunning plan to spread their fame And Azerbaijan sport-washing its name. Less than six thousand fans in red or blue Like Harry and Barry, Colin and Stew Made the pilgrimage by car, train or plane And Steady Eddie […]
  • It All Comes Out in the Wash
    Two (European Super) Premier League clubs, whose names chime with greed, contest the (Football League, Milk, Littlewoods Challenge, Rumbelows, Coca-Cola, Worthington, Carling, Capital One, EFL) Carabao Cup Final on a Sunday at 4.30 in a stadium branded ‘Wembley connected by EE’. One club is so pleased they’ve just sacked their manager, while the other is […]
  • 1966 and All That
    It’s not easy being an assistant referee, scurrying up and down, up and down the touch line, when there are so many shenanigans to see. Was an attacker standing offside is the key judgement you must make, but the margins are so fine. It’s not easy being an assistant referee, you need to be eagle-eyed, […]
  • What Steve Wants
    We need to find a number nine Before it’s too late, to lead our line. Someone good in the air, full of flair, With nifty footwork, like Fred Astaire. Who’ll press to help our midfield pack In matches when we’re on the rack. Able to hold up play, home and away, And do the business, […]