Football Poets

Why is a Rugger Ball oval?
Why is a Soccer Ball round?
Why, tell me, why did that flag go up,
When all thought it should have stayed down?

Why did the Referee point to the Spot?
Why did that shot hit the bar? […]

Monday to Friday you’re banged up in skool.
M&S blazer, prefect-enforced rules.
Chemistry, history, geography, maths.
O-levels soon, you’ll be lucky to pass.
Then you’re released for Match Day has come round […]

Some poets treat of lofty themes,
Like Love, Desire and Hate.
Of sour, dashed hopes and broken dreams,
Of hearts that pine and wait.

There’s bards that brood on graves and tombs,
On bones and food for w […]

Forty thousand Genoani kicking up a din.
Trying to give their team a lift before the match begins.
Surely we won’t lose tonight, hell no, we’re bound to win.
There’s a Prince from Buenos Aires playing up front […]

Editors Note :
Denys has written this poem in his second language, but also translated it for us, below. Do scroll down to read, it’s well worth it.

Dieci anni sono trascorsi da un infausto pomeriggio […]

Will you come to De Ferrari, will you come?
We can fully guarantee that you’ll have fun.
There’ll be thousands of us there,
If you wish our joy to share,
You should come to De Ferrari, you should come.

W […]

Cruisin’ along with a three-nil lead.
We’d seen off the ‘Pool with surprising ease.
Fifty-six seconds, Maldini struck.
Paolo could scarcely believe his luck.
He picked up a pass and he bagged the first goal. […]

Moysey went to wet his whistle down his local pub.
He sank a pint and whisky chaser, tucked into some grub.
In walked a dapper Spanish dude, Benitez, yes, ‘twas he!
He sat right next to David, and he said: “ […]

The A.C. Chairman, Silvio was sure his Lads would win.
He brushed us off as dreamers, called our chances paper-thin.
But look, his cocky pre-match boasts are blowin’ in the wind,
It’s Gerrard’s hands that hold […]

It was twenty years ago today,
In the very merry month of May.
We’d been playing from the start with style,
But that day our fans went really wild.
Well, we’re calling just to remind you,
That we once won the […]

Mine eyes have seen the Glory of the Blues at Wemberlee.
They first took me to Goodison when I was only three.
I heard them speak in hushed tones of the great William Ralph Dean.
For the Legend still lives on. […]

They’re gettin’ tipsy in Toxteth, and down the Scotland Road.
They’re goin’ crazy in Croxteth, they’re in a festive mood.
And all along the Mersey, you’ll hear a new song sung,
By kids dressed in blue jersey […]

No Way, José

He said he didn’t care they’d drawn the home leg.
He swore he’d beat the Reds on their own turf.
Of midfield they’d seize control, they would bag one vital goal,
Then the world would see what Jos […]

Some say that he’s a canny cove,
Some say that he’s a twit.
Some swear they just can’t work him out,
Some think that he’s the pits.
But take a stroll along King’s Road – why there the man’s a hit:
“Come in […]

I went into a public house for to quaff a pint of beer.
A chap was talking on TV, but his words were not so clear.
I think he might have mentioned money,
The rest I could not catch …

I popped into a barber’s sho […]

“Life ain’t no bed of roses”, we hear you all complain,
You say the path is nearly always rough.
You whinge you’ve had a raw deal,
You whine this world’s an ordeal,
Just shut your traps and learn ‘bout Lif […]

Life ain’t no bed of roses, it’s uphill all the way,
The path is rarely smooth and often rough.
But if you think you’ve had a raw deal,
And you find this life an ordeal,
Pray, pause a while and spare a thoug […]

Here I am again, lolling on my couch, like some Roman Emperor of old.
(Shame there’s no slave to fan me with a palm-leaf).
I am a Subscriber, getting psyched up for the Big Match on Sky Sports One.
Four p.m. k […]

I placed the ball before my feet,
And to myself I said:
“My Son, at last you have the chance
To put your team ahead.
That plastic-coated leathern sphere,
Just hit it hard and low.
And you can bet into the net
It r […]

Sir Alex is a splendid chap who earns a lot of dosh.
He likes good beer, fine vintage wine and solid, wholesome nosh.
Just send an invitation out, and you will surely find,
He’ll come and have a meal chez toi w […]