Football Poets

When we were losing one-nil,
I thought our Cause was lost.
The trapdoor was wide open,
We seemed doomed to the Drop.

When we were trailing one-nil,
I heard a wise man say:
“My son, you know you r […]

We last clashed ten long months ago,
On Liverpool’s own turf.
And on that day, the whole world knows,
We Toffees proved our worth.

Two goals scored by the Boys in Blue,
While from the Reds not one. […]

We all thought he was potty
When he came to Everton.
Now Carlo Ancelotti
Has gone and done a bunk.

He’s upped and left for Real Madrid,
World-famous Club, so very big.
Much greater than our Everton,
Who […]

We hadn’t won at Anfield
Since nineteen ninety-nine.
And slice it how you like,
That is a very long long time.

But now at last we’ve done it,
The monkey’s off our back.
The hoodoo has been laid to […]

Scored after five minutes.
Defending since then.
Star striker got sent off.
We’re down to ten men.
Eighty-eight minutes gone.
Two minutes to go.
But them hundred-twenty seconds,
Man, don’t they go […]

You can sell Tosun, Iwobi, Sigurdsson,
They’re not fundamental to our plans.
And Pickford can depart,
It wouldn’t break our hearts,
He drops too many clangers,
He just doesn’t look the part.

But […]

He was banging ’em in for his Club,
Then came his Country calling.
Dom pulled on the White Shirt,
And guess what – he kept up the scoring!

Some say it was only a Friendly,
But I say a goal is a g […]

The autumn is a gloomy time,
The leaves fall from the trees.
Hard rains pour down, wild west winds blow,
And other things like these.

But we’re not feeling sad just now,
Our mood is quite […]

Who are you, Cazoo?
What do you make or do?
Concoct some alcoholic brew?
Or manufacture paint or glue?
This is what I wished I knew,
When first I heard the name Cazoo,
Because I did not have a clue. […]

There once was a bug called Corona,
That caused many games to postpona.
Juve-Inter for sure,
Sev’ral other match more,
Not least of which Samp v Verona.

2/3/20
Denys E. W. Jones

There’s players on the pitch,
There’s linesmen and a ref,
There’s journalists and TV crews,
As rightly you’d expect.

But there are no supporters,
No cheering, chanting crowd,
The game’s being p […]

They thought we were dead and buried,
Two minutes to go till half-time.
We’re sure we were dead and buried,
But there’s always hope where there’s life.

They thought we were dead and buried,
Two down, not […]

Do you remember ninety-five?
Were you alive in ninety-five?
Blur had a House in the Country.
Oasis Rolled with It.
John Major lived in Number Ten.
The Beeb had the rights to the Cricket.
The Pound was […]

“Success is counted sweetest
By those who ne’er succeed.”
And more than most we Blues have learned
Exactly what that means.

For when it comes to derbies,
We rarely come up trumps,
The Reds are usu […]

They said we were ungrateful
When we sacked our Portuguese.
It wasn’t nothing personal –
He’d brought us to our knees.

His string of poor results
Had us reaching for the Valium,
So we showed him where […]

They said we were ungrateful,
When we sacked Allardyce.
Now Marco Silva cannot say
That he’s been treated nice.

But football is a business,
For sentiment no room,
So poor old Marco had to go, […]

We’re an army blue and white,
Our hopes are high, our prospects bright.
On this, another Season’s eve,
Once more we truly do believe.

We represent our city,
Well, half of it at least.
There is […]

On the banks of the Mersey there is a divide,
Two teams with long histories for primacy vie.
The one that I root for plays in blue and white,
While the other in red has God on its side.

There’s a […]

A new season comes and we’re all filled with hope.
Hope, hope and the years slip by.
Soon it is May, and we can but mope.
Mope, mope as the years slip by.

Players are bought and players are sold. […]

They said we were ungrateful,
When we sacked Allardyce.
Well, truth be told, we can’t deny,
It wasn’t very nice.

But football is a business,
For sentiment no place.
So poor Big Sam, he had to […]