Don’t Sell DCL

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 You can sell Tosun, Iwobi, Sigurdsson,
They’re not fundamental to our plans.
And Pickford can depart,
It wouldn’t break our hearts,
He drops too many clangers,
He just doesn’t look the part.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 But don’t you dare sell,
Don’t sell our DCL,
I just don’t think we’d understand.
Can play up front alone,
He isn’t inj’ry prone,
He’s pretty much the Leader of the Gang.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 James is often crocked, so he too can be flogged,
He’s not so essential to our plans.
He’s fine when fully fit,
He lights up the whole pitch,
Yet p’rhaps we would do well
To sell him back to Real Madrid.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 But don’t, please don’t sell,
Don’t sell our DCL,
He’s absolutely crucial to our plans.
He’s up there with the best,
Dean, Latchford and the rest,
In plain and simple English, he’s The Man!

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 There’s loads more on our books that you could call dead wood,
I don’t think I need say who they are.
But they too could be sold,
They’re mostly rather old,
And wouldn’t bring in too much
At a Car Boot or bazaar.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 But don’t sell our Dom,
Our Totem, our Icon,
I don’t think he really wants to go.
He’s fine at Everton,
We love him like a son,
And most importantly, he gets the goals!

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 19/1/21
Denys E. W. Jones


I have read speculation that Everton might be willing to sell Dominic Calvert-Lewin if the price were right. I express my indignation in this re-working of the Billy Ray Cyrus song Achy Breaky Heart.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/dont-sell-dcl/