• You can’t win ’em all
    When I was just a snot-nosed brat, My Fav’rite Team got thrashed. And nothing could console me, Not hugs, or sweets or cash. At length my mother called me, And sat me on her knee. Now here’s the words of wisdom She softly spoke to me: “Sing when you’re winning, laugh when you lose, Don’t […]
  • David Moyes’s Blue and White Army
    We’re David Moyes’s Blue and White Army, Well-known throughout the Land. Our Faith is solid as a rock, Not built on shifting sands. We’re neck-steeped in Tradition. We’re famed around the world. Wherever Scouse is spoken, You will find our Flag unfurled. Our Stadium is Goodison. The Toffees our nickname. Though more than once we […]
  • No-Hope Football Team
    The Taxman’s taken all my bread, He’s stripped me, I’ve got nothing left, All I’ve got’s this no-hope football team. So here I am sat in the Stand, I stamp my feet and clap my hands, Cheering on this no-hope football team. My wife and kids have run away, They claim that I’ve got nowt […]
  • The Blues are down the Pub with Moyesy
    The Reds are down the pub with Rafa, Crying in their beer. They’ve gone to drown their sorrows, But they just can’t stem the tears. The Blues are down the pub with Moyesy, Knocking back the booze. They’ve won a Mersey Derby Many thought that they would lose. Was that a pig I saw fly […]
  • He’s not There
    Nobody told us about him, About his forked tongue. And no-one warned that before long, He would be up and gone. But it’s too late for weeping buckets, Chewing carpets, tearing out hair. Though we’ve searched high and low for him, He’s not there! Well, let me tell you ‘bout his blist’ring pace, His cheeky […]