Go find me some players, scour the nation Things are now desperate as we face relegation And to help you to buy them Here’s Ten thousand quid So get value for money, before making a bid. Forget premiership players Their wages are obscene And don’t ring Rafa Benitez On Robbie I’m not Keane. Spend my […]

Before you make your exit Before you take your leave Give us something to remember And wear your heart upon your sleeve. Climb those steps at Wembley On cup final day in May And lift the famous trophy Before you walk away. But maybe we Geordies are dreamers Who’s dreams just don’t come true But […]

Bend over backwards Pull out all the stops Seal off the airports And set up road blocks. See that his pay packet Is substantially increased Transport his stables Up to the North East. And in sheer desperation To keep little Michael sweet Grant him the castle And Northumberland Street. Give him Durham Cathedral Throw in […]

Post a letter off to Santa And make your feelings clear State exactly what you want Then sign it Joe Kinnear. Explain that you have behaved yourself And you’re a friendly sort of lad But sometimes when you’re angry Your language gets quite bad. Remind him you’re O.K. for after-shave Socks and underwear No material […]

Good morning Sir Alex This is your old skipper Roy I’m stuck up in Sunderland And not having much joy. I’ve spent all my millions And now big Nial’s on my back And the grapevine is saying That I’ll soon get the sack. I’ve tried bully boy tactics But I have found them no use […]