• Reverse Psychology
    Every time I watch my team in person They lose. A jinx That’s how unlucky I am. It pains me so much That before the next match I’m going to go into the bookmakers To place a sizeable bet on them losing. With my luck I’ll lose And we’ll win!
  • Game Of Two Halves
    Attack The other team. Strive While there is still time With a minute to the break And the game in the balance It’s up to you now To grasp a win In this game of two halves In this half of the game It depends upon you To hold on to this win This game […]
  • Refereeing Haikus
    England’s Howard Webb Slicing slantwise with his arm As he blows for time. Graham Poll winning Well-earned fame in World Cups (Not counting those cards) Gigi Collina His exorbitant eyes stare, Welcome, o Mekon. Clive Thomas from Wales Pedalling backwards madly A film in reverse Pointing to the spot In nineteen seventy four Jack Taylor, […]
  • Archie’s Stands
    The modern stadia with their grand designs Beguile us with their flowing lines At the Emirates, Reebok and City’s Eastlands They seem to say “Look Ma, no stands” Just one o’er- arching elegant wave No wonder no-one cared to save Old Roker, home of the Wearside Roar With its wooden stands and its iron core. […]
  • David’s Dream
    Amid the shouting and the noise Spare a thought for David Moyes. Last night he had an awful dream About a day when his precious team Has lost away in Athens, and he Must face a journalist or three And, worse than that, (there’s no release) He has to talk to David Peace. Yes, he’s […]