England 3 Sweden 2 They said that he’d be cautious and would make the purists nauseous but in fact the game was thrilling to the marrow. One-nil up and two-one down before the forwards went to town, it ebbed and flowed just like the tide at Barrow. They said that he’d be pensive, try to […]

Croatia 1 Italy 1 You’re the cat with the cream, Slaven Biliæ, an advertiser’s dream, Slaven Biliæ. You are nobody’s fool, the epitome of cool, you’re the sharpest damned tool in the village. You’re an icon of style, Slaven Biliæ, with your earring and smile, Slaven Biliæ. You can wear any suit with creases acute, […]

Spain 4 Ireland 0 It’s of little consolation that they say that we were plucky; that, alas, on this occasion, we were just a tad unlucky. At the moment we’re deflated at our quick elimination and the spirit demonstrated is of little consolation. It’s of little consolation that the plaudits keep on flying for our […]

I really don’t care what Roy Keane says. I really don’t care very much. He’ll rant and he’ll rave till he goes to the grave. Now he’s telling the Irish fans how to behave. Oh, I really don’t care what Roy Keane says because he is so out of touch. I really don’t care what […]

Ukraine 0 France 2 I see a little silhouetto of Zidane, Ribery! Ribery!! Will you get the ball and go? Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me Long delayo, Long delayo, Long delayo, Long delayo, Long delayo, here we go – magnifico I’m Sami Nasri, Arsenal don’t love me He’s Sami Nasri from a rich […]