Phoenix Park, a dreary Sunday morning, Waiting for the ref to amble over, The outside left collapses without warning, Hungover very badly in the clover. Sunday morning football in Raheny, Goalie stubs his fag out on his boot. It could be something dreamt up by Fellini, Coach’s wife is idly slicing fruit. Out in Malahide, […]

Ah Mabel, stop your staring out the window, You know quite well who’s moving in next door. Why yes, I read about them in the Indo, But darling, weren’t we once the nouveau-poor? Do you recall the pain when we were leaving That swanky neighbourhood we used to love? Now it seems, they’re finally receiving […]

Let everyone remember their manners, Let cead mille failtes abound. Please, no inappropriate banners – The new neighbours are coming around. Do not pick your noses while singing, Don’t sing any songs that you oughtn’t. From the start, let our welcome be ringing – First impressions are always important. Moving in, you feel lonely and […]

A flick of the switch and the season’s alight, We’re caught in the glare of publicity. Thank God we are back on the circuit tonight, With Eircom replaced by Airtricity. Watt a fine mess the close season has wrought, Though no-one’s been charged with duplicity. Who was at volt? Well nobody’s been caught Or is […]

Is the Toblerone too hard? Does it leave your palate scarred? Do nuts in Fruit and Nut stick in your teeth? Is the chocolate in a Flake Much too crumbly by mistake, Obliging one to eat it from beneath? Phil Lynott’s moonlight dance Led to brown stains on his pants (And chocolate on your trousers […]