• Over The Moon
    If the moon can pull the waters Cross the surface of the earth, If the moon can break the waters Of women before birth, Then surely it can alter The path of storm and rain, And affect the football scores With no diluvial strain, So no wonder all our football stars All sing that clichéd […]
  • Polly Glot is malade comme un parroquet
    Es ist ein drolliges spiel, One moment you feel Au-dessus de la lune, Singing a victorious tune, Mais, c’est un drole de jeu, comrades, Un jeugo de mos mitades, Briefly happy, but then comes sorrow, Truly, enfermo como un loro. But when you finally say A la fin de la journee, That you are heartbroken, […]
  • Keats, Newton and Luton
    Today in class, History, period 3, I gave the Kurdish refugees 2 Man. United English work books, And they were thrilled when they looked And lovingly copied the first words Into their brand new History exercise books, (Green means History, Maths is rum, And so on across the curriculum). They used their black ink pens […]
  • Feng Shui and the World Cup
    Don’t call me a Jobsworth Just because I shop at Woolworths For a winter cardigan, I’ve a good eye for a bardigain, I enjoy the sweet seduction Of a price reduction For a winter woolie In the shop that folk call Woolies, And I like the oddity Of buying a commodity Whose name is the […]
  • Doctor Elo’s Formula for forecasting the Score
    LEBANON 3 KAZAKHSTAN 0 (1998 ASIAN GAMES) The other day when I got on the bus, Tired out after all the fuss Of another exhausting day at school, I politely told the driver the golden rule, The price rather than destination of my journey, The driver drove a very fast bus, His name was Ernie, […]