A beaming Kier Starmer is beamed into our homes Wearing an England top stitched by children in export processing zones, And who’s that posing by an England flag? Why it’s Owen Jones. It’s amazing what winning and taking the knee can do, Even Priti’s forgotten that she’d rather boo And that seems to go for […]

Footballers don’t like poems, They like fast cars and celebrity lives. Footballers don’t like poems, They like parties and nights with other blokes’ wives. Footballers don’t like poems, You wouldn’t expect the gaffer to rhyme, Or to use rhythm or meter, When he shouts at the team at half time. (Except, of course, for John […]

This ain’t Upton Park, it’s Brisbane Road. It ain’t White Hart Lane, that’s the wrong postcode. It ain’t Stamford Bridge, this is E10, And you’re gonna hear Rockin’ All Over The World again There’s flats in every corner of the ground. You can get your kids in for just five pound. Get an Orientear, it’s […]