Football Poets

19/05/2018: A Hat-trick of Harry’s!

I’m pacing the floor
cos I don’t know the score
and I’m trying to avoid
how they deployed
I’ve turned off my phone
with its certain ringtone *

and all because….

It’s FA Cup Final day
and my team are on the red carpet….

yet – I’m not there

mitigation 1 : I’m overseas
mitigation 2 : couldn’t get a ticket

and even if I did
I’d be on a sticky wicket
‘cos I’m in a household full of exams
and I function primarily
as Dad’s taxi
(so for once, I feel full-on wanted and required –
won’t be long before that feeling’s expired!)

But there’s more…
I didn’t watch it live!….
I didn’t connive
to be “dahn de pub, wiv mates”
enjoying debates
of who’s deserving of admiration
or who should be hooked
before they’re booked
or overcooked….

No
I went hiking
‘cos I’m liking
that my battered ol’ bod
can still function up and down
through Irish bog and trail
and though twist and turn might fail
hill walking
can have me chalking
17km –
that’s maybe more than those on Wembley’s hallowed turf?
Who knows?
I didn’t even surf
the net
to find out who or when
upset
Reds or Blues.
Quick change of shoes –
but still, even tho’ I could’ve
and should’ve
I bypassed Wembley’s tremblies
and shuttled out to another real live match

natch

not even soccer…..
footy yes
but a different code
of Irish abode
and my local club **
decimated
by exam fever
still pulled the lever
and revved
ahead by a few points
only to be pulled back
to an honourable draw

at this point in time
Wembley was probably empty
and so home I traipsed
and still
no catching up with the recording….
instead:
Graham Norton
Gogglebox
Mrs Brown’s Boys…..
all noise
of my wife’s choosing
and I’ve seriously no knowledge
of winning or losing
under what is: the longest single span roof structure in the world….

which ribbons were unfurled?
I’m still none the wiser
holding out
for my boy to join me ***
to watch
and cower together
as Chelsea hopefully go hell for leather….

and then it dawns…

he probably already knows
as he’s in front of Ed Sheeran
and the Knorr-folk strummer
has probably broadcast out to the crowd
as to whether Red or Blue triumphed…
and I’m laughing, ‘cos
I’m venting this
this toad of an ode
on a piece of random paper
that details the caper
of how to get
to Ed’s zedfest –
a map of the park
where he’ll finish in the dark…

and that is exactly where I am!
even as I write
and yes
this must be the most sh…
match report

but do I win kudos
for not having to resort….

to that

other

Match of the Day?!?!? ****

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