Poems tagged ‘Goalkeepers’
Oi Ref…Swap Goalie?
“Oi Ginger! Go in goal?
Jimmy, you’re no good so ‘n so
You’re as useful as a fork for sipping soup”,
“But…Enda…”
“Ginger, I know you wanna play full- back
But six-two down, us getting thrashed
You in goal, there’s a chance we might improve”.
Sporting a raging bleating hump
I gave leather spherical a thump
Spat on me gloves, crossed myself in prayer
Dancing back to guard the battered goal
Cursing Jimmy, the so ‘n so
Firing daggers at him via a flaming glare.
Punching a corner unopposed
I’m dancing on tip toes
Twelve years old the saviour of the side
Wallowing in wondrous self esteem
I’m every London-Irish captain’s dream…
That young fella, Enda called to stem the tide.
In the eighteen yard box on me Tod
Rising rueful from the dewy sod
Smell of dubbined leather neath me chin
A gorgeous face beside the goal
Smiles, applauds, and stops mid-stroll,
“Hello Ginger bhoy, I’m Enda’s cousin, Erin”.
Making saves, struggling to talk
Fazed by simmering brown eyes, here, from Cork
A welcome distraction to keep the deficit at six
Braggadocio insists I scream, n shout
Inspiration of a sculptured marble pout
Leaning on my post, a blade a grass between moist lips.
The final whistle blows…six-four
Enda roars, “Three Cheers”, (Can’t recall who for?)
I’ve other stuff in mind than to shake a muddy hand
Striding across a sodden field of green
All of a sudden, my recently discovered dream
Sped off in the front of a Transit van, with Enda’s mam.
Christening Hooley, a table full of mates
Enda mentioned, Erin emigrated to The States
Wed a good for nothing lazy get, gave up the ghost
I prefer to recall the day, fate deemed I go in goal
Simmering brown eyes caressed my soul
Blade a grass twixt moist lips, pouting ‘gainst a post.
Cramp is soooo 60’s
Cramp is soooo Sixties
Modern players don’t do cramp
They have cool injuries
Like metatarsals and ACLU’s
They do warm ups and warm downs
They Have personal masseurs and dietitians
They’re up to date on all nutrition’s
but they don’t do cramp
Cramp was for knackered, mud caked warriors
in the century gone by
who had literally ran themselves
into the torn up hallowed turf
with socks ran off
down to their ankles, exposing to the world
their battered shins.
Many’s the time a sporting opponent would lift the leg
and press the player’s toes towards his gasping chest
to relieve the excruciating agony of the tightened muscle.
Back then only goalies didn’t do cramp
everyone else did
The moments of diving around in the mud
Were occasionally interrupted with a lull in play
When the goal custodian would have a little stroll around his six yard box,
Maybe do the odd stretch or two
Always being careful to not exert himself.
Cos goalies didn’t do cramp.
So, if you ever read a football history book
and the piece on goalies cruise
You’ll find that the only keeper who ever got cramp
was Kepa of the Blues
Only One Banksy( R.I.P. Gordon)
When millennials hear of Banksy
they think of the bloke who scrawls on walls
But when oldies think of Banksy
they remember the great goalie saving balls.
Of his heroic days at Wembley
especially in July of Sixty- Six
But it’s four year later we’ll remember more
the star between the sticks
It was a hot and humid afternoon
beneath the scorching Jalisco sun
when Banksy made the greatest save
that’s been bettered since by none
The great Jairzinho got the ball
He was on the right wing for Brazil
and he took on Terry Cooper
with the score line still nil- nil
He went ‘round Cooper skillfully
with confidence and ease
then heard a cry, “on me ‘ead son”
yelled in guttural Portuguese
He sent the cross in powerfully
and Pele’s head it met
and everybody watching thought
the ball was in the net.
GOL !!! screamed Pele excitedly
As he raised his arms with glee
“ Pele puts Brazil ahead”
said the man on I.T.V.
But Banksy on his near post still
was having none of that
and he hurled himself across
his goal like a circus acrobat.
He got his hand under the ball
after allowing for the bounce
“the greatest save I’ve ever seen”
the commentator now announced.
Jairzinho eventually broke the deadlock
and Brazil won – one to nil
but that save by Banks from Pele
Is shown and talked of still.
Now Gordon passed away last week
He’s moved to heaven from his grave
And the first question that God asked him was
“How the Hell did you make that save?”
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Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Latest Poems
kevin halls
10th November 2024
joe morris
10th November 2024
Clik The Mouse
10th November 2024
Clik The Mouse
6th November 2024
Alex Saynor
6th November 2024
joe morris
29th October 2024
joe morris
17th October 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
16th October 2024
joe morris
11th October 2024
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11th October 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
13th September 2024 at 6:14 pm
Welcome to Football Poets Beth
Great evocative poem Beth….
More please !
Haiku always welcome.
Hope we (FGR) get to play you again soon
Best
Crispin
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26th July 2024 at 6:25 pm
Great poem Mike Bartram. Eddie was a legend, affectionately known in Liverpool as, “the first hooligan.” Even the hoolies were well dressed in those days. The amazing thing was he was only 26 when that picture was taken. He’d played for Everton youth team and was well known to the players. He never got arrested. They threw him out and he climbed back in, just in time for Derek Temples winner.
I used the picture of him being tackled to the ground on the front cover of my book, “Once Upon a rhyme in Football.” It’s worth looking on youtube and finding the re-enactment of the Wembley scene. Frank Skinner and Baddiel went around to Eddies home in the 1990’s and acted it out on the green outside. It’s hilarious, especially all the effort they put in to get Eddie sober enough to shoot the scene.
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10th July 2024 at 6:07 pm
Hi Crispin,
I don’t know if you’ve see the picture in social media today…
a picture of a teenage Lionel Messi cradling a baby in Africa as part of a photoshoot…. the family had won a lottery to have their baby pictured with him….
the photographer has just revealed that the baby is actually in fact Lamine Yamal!!!!
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26th May 2024 at 2:30 pm
Hi Denys…
Re Man City:
OK it was 20 years ago but Criag Wilson did write this and a few others on them back in 04/05.
BTW I’m more Forest Green Rover since 2014 (and Chelsea) these days . I drum and am a standing season ticket holder .
Best
Crispin
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29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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