Poems tagged ‘Pundits’
Quality Punditry
Lack of quality in the final third,
Is the one phrase I wish I’d never heard.
Trotted out by pundits lost for words,
The useful and useless so casually blurred.
Quality player, quality ball,
Peter please stop, we’ve heard them all.
When City don’t score, they hardly ever win,
Michael, cheers for stating the bleeding obvious thing.
Why if a player hits the ball too well, Jeff,
Does the ball find itself nestling behind row F?
Andy, is winning on a cold rainy night in Stoke,
Really the biggest challenge in football to invoke?
Lots to learn from any titanic football clash,
Shame many of the pundits haven’t the insight to match.
Roy, explain the mystery so everyone will know,
Why the most dangerous lead in football remains 3-1, or so.
Lumping the ball seems to have gone right out of fashion,
Is that why no one can put a corner beyond the first man, Alan?
Goals win games, he’s got genuine pace,
Well-meaning cliches from all over the place.
If football is more important than life or death,
Then give us quality pundits is all we request.
Live Streaming Away
It’s not easy being a live streamer,
not easy at all,
when hapless camera crews seem
incapable of following the ball
or wiping rain drops from the lens
while we can see nothing at all
or zoom so far from the action
we could be up a mountain in Nepal.
It’s not easy being a live streamer,
not easy at all,
when enjoying such poor sound, plus
punditry so partial it’s funnier
than the late Bobby ‘Rock on Tommy’ Ball.
To add insult to injury, the gall,
they’re charging us £9.99 to watch
this live football.
It’s not easy being a live streamer.
No, not easy at all.
Pun ditto
There are many do it
Gazza blew it
Bluffers-not-so-anonymous
queuing up at the gantry
all mic’d up and psyche’d up
all suited and recruited –
more for what they know
than how they can say it
Fame
is not the same
as eloquence and charm –
oh for a “Doog” to disarm
the Lineker smarm
Lucid self-expression
is not part of the kit, that they now don
articulation, not in their repertoire
erudite, not on their cv
these guys were seasoned pros
who out on the pitch showed no fear
whereas we seek reasoned prose
neatly structured, cogent and clear
now the gamut, of glorified gods
gather garrulously
the epitome
of fame over faculty
a plethora of pundits opining
with cliché and curse
whereas we poets just do it
with bouquet and verse
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Latest Poems
Denys E. W. Jones
31st May 2025
joe morris
31st May 2025
Clik The Mouse
30th May 2025
Clik The Mouse
28th May 2025
Emdad Rahman
28th May 2025
Mike Bartram
27th May 2025
joe morris
26th May 2025
steve mingle
23rd May 2025
Mike Bartram
22nd May 2025
joe morris
22nd May 2025
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
24th May 2025 at 7:19 am
Hi Steve
I’ve come across you before on the live poetry circuit…something I’ve also been involved in since the late 90s at slams, gigs and festivals. Did you ever get to Glasto?
I was also at Swindon when José subbed and berated Kevin in a League Cup game for Chelsea….
Salah as you point out went the same way…
Be interesting to see Kev’s next move?
Best
Crispin
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24th April 2025 at 1:05 pm
Hey Denys..love this
“You may be a miner working down a pit.
You may be a rock star playing sold out gigs.
You may be a fireman putting out a blaze.
You may be an inmate chalking off the days. ”
Not just Dylan but maybe an unintentional nod to and shades of Ian Dury’s enigmatic ‘What A Waste’ rhythmic scanning..eg:
I could be the driver in an articulated lorry
I could be a poet I wouldn’t need to worry
I could be a teacher in a classroom full of scholars
I could be the sergeant in a squadron full of wallahs
What a waste
What a waste
Was lucky enough to meet and interview him twice.
Best wishes from Forest Green to Genoa C
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8th March 2025 at 2:34 pm
Thanks Crispin
I’ve been to FGR a couple of times in the past – great food! Barnet look like they have the NL sewn up for this season, but I wish you well for promotion next season.
Regards, Beth
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11th January 2025 at 8:13 am
TO ADD THIS TO THIS POEM’S COMMENT:WELCOME BACK DAVID MOYES!!!
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27th November 2024 at 5:55 am
‘You’re Supposed To Be At Home’ is an excellent and moving poem Denys.
You start off thinking it’s just about another oft-sung chant, one we personally heard a lot last season throughout our second relegation in a row here at Forest Green(FGR) ! I always love poems where you think they are saying one thing and then they suddenly pull you deeper to somewhere or something else else.
I’m currently helping in a local school for FGR in a voluntary capacity using football to help young students with reading. At an upcoming session we will tackle racism, just like we did in workshops at football schools and grounds when we first started this site 24 years ago. I’m gonna try and weave your poem into a session.
We’ve added it to the Anti- Racism/Kick It Out section under Crispin’s Corner.
Best C
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26th November 2024 at 1:59 pm
Great poem and great to see you back Wyn.
Don’t leave it so long next time my friend!
More please.
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13th September 2024 at 6:14 pm
Welcome to Football Poets Beth
Great evocative poem Beth….
More please !
Haiku always welcome.
Hope we (FGR) get to play you again soon
Best
Crispin
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26th July 2024 at 6:25 pm
Great poem Mike Bartram. Eddie was a legend, affectionately known in Liverpool as, “the first hooligan.” Even the hoolies were well dressed in those days. The amazing thing was he was only 26 when that picture was taken. He’d played for Everton youth team and was well known to the players. He never got arrested. They threw him out and he climbed back in, just in time for Derek Temples winner.
I used the picture of him being tackled to the ground on the front cover of my book, “Once Upon a rhyme in Football.” It’s worth looking on youtube and finding the re-enactment of the Wembley scene. Frank Skinner and Baddiel went around to Eddies home in the 1990’s and acted it out on the green outside. It’s hilarious, especially all the effort they put in to get Eddie sober enough to shoot the scene.
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10th July 2024 at 6:07 pm
Hi Crispin,
I don’t know if you’ve see the picture in social media today…
a picture of a teenage Lionel Messi cradling a baby in Africa as part of a photoshoot…. the family had won a lottery to have their baby pictured with him….
the photographer has just revealed that the baby is actually in fact Lamine Yamal!!!!
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