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Alan’s Awesome Adjectives

neal zetter

Friday, September 8th, 2006

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 My Mum says “ain’t he handsome?”
But there’s much more to Alan Hansen
Than his James Bond looks
And his sun-tanned face
He puts other soccer pundits in their place
Using adjectives
And superlatives
As well as he used the ball
In his halcyon Liverpool playing days

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 ‘Cause on Match of the Day
You’ll hear him say
“Unbelievable”
“Incredible”
“Amazing goal”
“Diabolical”
“An absolutely terrible
Tackle from behind”
“Magnificent lob from the half-way line”
“His first touch was totally sublime”
“Fantastic”
“Terrific”
“Dreadful”
“Abysmal”
There’s not a word wasted
No superfluous syllable
Or any hint of drivel
When he waxes lyrical
About Rooney’s latest dribble
“Awesome”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 You’re all waylaid
In the shade
Lineker
Davies
Pearce
Motson
And Lawrenson
Be afraid
When you’re up against Hansen

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 So when Alan’s on TV
Turn up the volume on your telly
To hear the Scot
Who knows a lot
More adjectives
Than your average
English dictionary

© Neal Zetter 2006

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/alans-awesome-adjectives/