Football Poets

Albania’s finest at West Ham?

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Now here’s the latest on
The incessant rumour mill
Albania’s finest
But probably no
Relation to Norman Wisdom
Where he was worshipped
Like some cultural hero
West Ham now think
Their prayers have been answered
Armando Broja
For that is his name
But certainly not Mr Grimsdale
Where tomfoolery met the circus
Broja , Albania but born in Slough
Reminiscent of Monty Python
Sketch, most peculiar connection
Since when did Albania ever
Disturb football’s global axis
Little if any in the way of
Proven pedigree
Possibly comically
Inferior to the Germans,
Italians, the French and the
Brazilians
But let’s give Armando
The benefit of the doubt
Clearly better than some
Of his striking predecessors
Those who briefly travelled
Through the the Stratford
Stratosphere, Poor and
Less than average, an
East End concoction
Of ordinariness
Broja has been sainted at
St Mary’s and highly
Commended at Chelsea
But Tuchel has no time
For slouches and those
At Stamford Bridge
Who may not hit the ground
Running, pronto not some
Point in the future
So it is that Broja
Could don the claret and blue
Apparel where once the likes
Of Pop Robson, Clyde Best,
David Swindlehurst, David Cross,
Tony Cottee and Frank McAvennie
Fired goals for frivolity and fun
All conceivable artillery
And yet how did our honourable
Friend from the land of Norman
Wisdom’s closest associates
Ever find his way into the innermost
Thoughts of West Ham
The art of seduction
Can be so strangely powerful
David Moyes in desperate
Need of electrifying
A forward line low on batteries
Broja, Dennis, Sarr, Simeone
Oh how the Irons would love
Nothing better than to see
Sir Geoff pulling on his boots
Emerging from happy retirement
This knight of the realm
Glorified and exalted
Since at this rate
West Ham may start
Next season in mid table
Before the first whistle
Or languishing in choppy
Waters near the bottom
Of the Premier League
Only six players needed
To give West Ham’s season
Ballast without struggling
With the sharks and predators
Who just want to see them
Fall into a dark hole of inadequacy
Or just in the middle of nowhere
Thrashing around in obscurity
So let those optimistic prognosticators
Consult the oracle
Maybe the Hammers will flirt
With those Premier League’s
High fliers
Armando from Albania
Perfect alliteration
The stage could be yours
Norman Wisdom
Will be gazing down on you
With admiration in abundance
Don’t trip over carpets
Where Her Majesty has
Tapped on your shoulders
Sir Norman now
With reverential kneel
But please let Broja
Become the knight in
Shining armour
Maybe a Sir in years
To come
When strikers wore
Claret and blue.

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