Poems tagged ‘West Ham and signings’
Albania’s finest at West Ham?
Now here’s the latest on
The incessant rumour mill
Albania’s finest
But probably no
Relation to Norman Wisdom
Where he was worshipped
Like some cultural hero
West Ham now think
Their prayers have been answered
Armando Broja
For that is his name
But certainly not Mr Grimsdale
Where tomfoolery met the circus
Broja , Albania but born in Slough
Reminiscent of Monty Python
Sketch, most peculiar connection
Since when did Albania ever
Disturb football’s global axis
Little if any in the way of
Proven pedigree
Possibly comically
Inferior to the Germans,
Italians, the French and the
Brazilians
But let’s give Armando
The benefit of the doubt
Clearly better than some
Of his striking predecessors
Those who briefly travelled
Through the the Stratford
Stratosphere, Poor and
Less than average, an
East End concoction
Of ordinariness
Broja has been sainted at
St Mary’s and highly
Commended at Chelsea
But Tuchel has no time
For slouches and those
At Stamford Bridge
Who may not hit the ground
Running, pronto not some
Point in the future
So it is that Broja
Could don the claret and blue
Apparel where once the likes
Of Pop Robson, Clyde Best,
David Swindlehurst, David Cross,
Tony Cottee and Frank McAvennie
Fired goals for frivolity and fun
All conceivable artillery
And yet how did our honourable
Friend from the land of Norman
Wisdom’s closest associates
Ever find his way into the innermost
Thoughts of West Ham
The art of seduction
Can be so strangely powerful
David Moyes in desperate
Need of electrifying
A forward line low on batteries
Broja, Dennis, Sarr, Simeone
Oh how the Irons would love
Nothing better than to see
Sir Geoff pulling on his boots
Emerging from happy retirement
This knight of the realm
Glorified and exalted
Since at this rate
West Ham may start
Next season in mid table
Before the first whistle
Or languishing in choppy
Waters near the bottom
Of the Premier League
Only six players needed
To give West Ham’s season
Ballast without struggling
With the sharks and predators
Who just want to see them
Fall into a dark hole of inadequacy
Or just in the middle of nowhere
Thrashing around in obscurity
So let those optimistic prognosticators
Consult the oracle
Maybe the Hammers will flirt
With those Premier League’s
High fliers
Armando from Albania
Perfect alliteration
The stage could be yours
Norman Wisdom
Will be gazing down on you
With admiration in abundance
Don’t trip over carpets
Where Her Majesty has
Tapped on your shoulders
Sir Norman now
With reverential kneel
But please let Broja
Become the knight in
Shining armour
Maybe a Sir in years
To come
When strikers wore
Claret and blue.
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Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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joe morris
16th May 2024
joe morris
11th May 2024
joe morris
9th May 2024
kevin halls
8th May 2024
joe morris
6th May 2024
joe morris
4th May 2024
Crispin Thomas
2nd May 2024
joe morris
28th April 2024
Richard Williams
26th April 2024
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25th April 2024
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Latest Comments
29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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23rd April 2024 at 3:59 pm
Hi Crispin,
Yes sorry mate. Villa are still in Europe. Mistake rectified.
Cheers
Joe
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20th April 2024 at 12:04 pm
Hi Joe
Shouldn’t your title read your poem Farewell Europe England to everyone exccept Aston Villa ?
I know you mention them in your poem , but I do feel sorry for Villa re the national press .
Largely ignored. the hype was was all about Man City & Arsenal with a bit of a nod to the Hammers..but hardly a mention of Villa..
So well done to them
C
.
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19th March 2024 at 8:00 am
Hi Crispin. Chris Sutton on the radio has gone for a Chelsea v Coventry final. As we know anything can happen in the Cup, and I reckon we can go to the final.
We’re still in with a chance of the play offs too, so lots to go for.
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19th March 2024 at 7:41 am
Hey Kev
Let the masses drool over their odds on City v Unted Final, but who knows how pressure can hit.
Cov and Chels will be rightly labelled as having no chance..but hey …stranger things have happened..
so Chelsea v Coventry…that’s the Final for us!
Best
C
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