Football Poets

Boro v Everton (16-01-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 On a gloriously sunny January afternoon,
Three points today for Boro would be a truly massive boon,
‘Sven’ is present in the crowd but I wonder, what’s the reason?
In a game the Boro need to win to kick-start again their season.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Boro get things underway and kick off into the breeze,
And Bolo got an early chance, but one he didn’t seize,
The idea was a good one but he seemed to go for glory,
Instead of feeding Downing for, perhaps, a different story.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Southgate’s miscued clearance meant a corner was conceded,
And the vocal Toffees’ fans roared their encouragement and pleaded,
But the prayers all went unanswered and we didn’t lose much sweat,
Despite the Everton pressure and their tremendous aerial threat.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Southgate’s bullet header from a great Downing delivery,
Narrowly missed the target as the Toffees looked so quivery,
It was struck with awesome power but one stat remains the same,
Gareth still awaits the coming of his first goal this campaign.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 In a good spell for the visitors, the Boro began to rock,
As Bent evaded Queudrue and so nearly brought a shock,
But Schwarzer made a fine save, to enhance his reputation,
Though already, in the Boro fans, there’s a feeling of frustration.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 In collision with his ‘keeper, Ehiogu was really clattered,
And he was very quickly subbed to leave him absolutely shattered,
So, sadly, of necessity, the Boro team regroups,
And is urged on, from the restart, by the ever-loyal Coops.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The crowd’s becoming anxious; at least that’s my impression,
When, for the umpteenth time this afternoon, they’re careless in possession,
Then Carsley showed great vision but the chance he chose to fritter,
As he shot against the Boro bar to miss an absolute sitter.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The goal was at his mercy and the chance was just immense,
And he really should have slotted home: but where was our defence?
Though credit’s due to Everton, who are playing with sheer endeavour,
And the danger signs are showing: we won’t get away forever.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Then Carsley showed his other side and it was really dark,
When he took out Stewart Downing; the Boro’s bright young spark,
“Outrageous” was one word I heard, and others I’ve not learned,
And my verdict on the referee is opened and adjourned.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Jimmy’s racing in on goal then shows a classic touch,
To pick out Bolo Zenden; another case of ‘Double Dutch,’
The skill shown was fantastic and quite beautifully executed,
As he beat the Toffees’ ‘keeper to leave their fans aghast and muted.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Kilbane is causing mayhem right along the Boro right,
McClaren’s out there screaming and he’s not being too polite,
Then Downing’s on a mazy run which he somewhat overdid,
Although he won a corner, Jimmy almost flipped his lid.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 A long ball in from Toffees saw the Boro rent asunder,
And Marcus Bent was loitering, with great intent to plunder,
But what was Schwarzer thinking of? He almost came unstuck,
When Toffees’ man went past him but he then ran out of luck.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Yobo’s ball into the box brought one almighty scramble,
Then Cahill picked out Marcus Bent, who quickly sought to gamble,
But Schwarzer pulled a wondrous save; that’s why he’s idolised,
And Bent just stood there shell-shocked, and clearly traumatised.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Hibbert’s foul on Downing was the worst we’d seen today,
This time a yellow card was shown, so he was made to pay,
Then a ball from Bent sought Cahill, just waiting for a tap-in,
But they’d reckoned without Cooper, and you should have heard the clappin’.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 To sum it up, the visitors had shown us true ability,
And they’d tried so hard to play on Nemeth’s defensive fragility,
We had not been too convincing and at times we’d huffed and puffed,
And, without some great improvement, we might very well get stuffed.

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 ———-

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 The dressing-room news on Ugo doesn’t appear to be too good,
And another long-term lay-off seems to be the likelihood,
Neither side makes changes; it’s a case of ‘as you were,’
In a game that promised much but’s delivered little for the connoisseur.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Toffees forced a corner when only seconds had elapsed,
And luck alone ensured that the Boro had not collapsed,
Then Stubbs took up a great post for another quick reminder,
But his totally free header went direct to Boro’s net minder.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 A lovely ball from Zenden then releases Reiziger,
Who races fully thirty yards before he pulls the trigger,
The ball was struck with venom and brought another ‘keeper fumble,
Which produced a further corner when it looked like they might crumble.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 Beattie then saw yellow for a foul on Jimmy Floyd,
Which was really rather reckless and our man’s not overjoyed,
He had easily left Pistone and picked up a head of steam,
Then up stepped Mr. Beattie to put an end to Jimmy’s dream.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 The free kick was a poor one as Downing chose to have a bash,
But Bolo then reacted and he was on it in a flash,
The ball bounced very nicely and he took it in his stride,
And he won another corner when it deflected inches wide.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 Bolo sought the fans’ encouragement; from the dads, the kids and moms,
He stood there as if conducting the much-loved Last Night Of The Proms,
The crowd, of course, responded, much to Bolo’s satisfaction,
But the corner came to nought to end a promising piece of action.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Morrison joins the action and his joy he can’t disguise,
He takes the place of Nemeth and it’s really no surprise,
Szil’s possibly not yet fully fit and his place is not out wide,
But wherever he plays he gives his all at the Boro’s Riverside.

¶ 24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Jimmy runs for twenty yards; a real joy to behold,
He turns and fires a rocket, just like the Hasselbaink of old,
The shot, of such tremendous power, was one of Floyd’s humdingers,
Once more the ‘keeper fumbled, suspecting damage to his fingers.

¶ 25 Leave a comment on verse 25 0 Then came heart-stopping action that was totally unbelievable,
When Cahill struck the woodwork and things appeared irretrievable,
Cahill’s cross had brought the danger and an almost-fatal blow,
And the scene was reminiscent of the famous Alamo.

¶ 26 Leave a comment on verse 26 0 How we still remain a goal ahead I cannot comprehend,
After a wonderful exhibition of how not to defend,
With Schwarzer going walkabout the ball did goalwards trickle,
We rode our luck but once again were in a right old pickle.

¶ 27 Leave a comment on verse 27 0 The sharp intake of Boro breath as they once more lost their poise,
Brought disbelief and head in hands for manager David Moyes,
But his response was instant and took just one split-second,
When he brought on Duncan Ferguson and immediate danger beckoned.

¶ 28 Leave a comment on verse 28 0 Big ‘Dunc’ is being introduced and one’s immediate impression,
Is that he’ll bring to Everton massive strength and great aggression,
Within a couple of minutes Ferguson, who’s often called a crackpot,
Made an instant contribution and his gamble won the jackpot.

¶ 29 Leave a comment on verse 29 0 Hibbert’s cross finds Ferguson and we fear now what’s in store,
His clever header finds Cahill and he manages to score,
We’d all seen this goal coming and they’d played with much more verve,
A matter of time was all it was and no more than they deserve.

¶ 30 Leave a comment on verse 30 0 Schwarzer holds a corner kick then goes to ground and spills it,
Ferguson, as entitled, tries to score the goal that kills it,
Then came about a ‘punch-up’ with almost every player involved,
And the ref. spoke with the captains so the thing was soon resolved.

¶ 31 Leave a comment on verse 31 0 Things got rather heated in this quite unpleasant scuffle,
And we might not have heard the last of this Riverside kerfuffle,
It was described as ‘handbags’ by the average reporter,
But it’s not a good example for the well-behaved supporter.

¶ 32 Leave a comment on verse 32 0 In the very final moment, Bent could easily have won it,
And Boro fans, throughout the ground, all thought that he had done it,
As they depart, now homeward bound, and feeling rather rotten,
‘Cos the dream they had – The Champions’ League – can surely be forgotten.

¶ 33 Leave a comment on verse 33 0 www.theborobard.co.uk