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By Nature I’m A Ball

Ronnie and the Ron-Nets

Monday, June 4th, 2001

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I feel I ought to tell you
that by nature I am a ball,
Doo doo doo doo, Doo doo doo doo,
Bright shiny leather,
all shapely and spherical,
Doo doo doo, Doo doo doo doo doo,
When they turned the floodlights on,
That’s when I saw the man called Ron,
Big Ron really turned it on,
And then he kicked me.
He kicked me in a way
that he’s never kicked a ball before,
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
He kicked me in a way
that I know I’ll want for evermore-or;
I knew Big Ron was mine
and I gave him all the love that I have,
Doo doo doo doo, Doo doo doo doo,
Yesterday I took him home
to meet my mom and my dad,
Doo doo doo doo, Doo doo doo doo,
My dad said “Now what’s the score?”
Big Ron then set out his stall,
He said “We will marry early doors”,
Then my dad kicked me.
I heard Fem-in-ism’s call,
I said “You treat me just like a ball”,
Dad and Ron said “Now we’ve heard it all”,
Then they both kicked me,
Then they both kicked me,
Then they both kicked me,
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.

Notes

Ronnie has been recently quoted as saying that really a football ought to be a feminist icon and that footballs ought to get their own back on men by scoring own goals

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/by-nature-im-a-ball/