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Correctile Dysfunction

HUGH MORRIS

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I’M a Political Correctist
Studying at University
To become a Bachelor
(WHAT A SEXIST TERM)
Of Speech Therapy(c)..
MY opinion is that football
Should be Politically Correct,
Clubs must make some changes,
That’s the least WE can expect…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Man. United and Man. City
Have appalling sexist names,
So I’M calling for a boycott
Of both clubs’ home games,
Until they change to PERSONchester
And what about West HAM?
(FulHAM, BirmingHAM, TottenHAM, NottingHAM, etc?)
Which is particularly offensive
To a Vegeterian…

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The problem of Bristol City
Is not beyond MY comprehension,
It’s time that WE insisted on
An indefinite suspension
Of this form of rhyming slang,
Which is sexist in the extreme,
And the town still has the Rovers
So ban Bristol’s other team…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Let’s all live and let live,
And against censorship protest,
But WE must have the final say,
Because WE (of course) know best..
So in MY eternal vigilance
To ensure that Speech is Free,
I’LL defend your right to say what you like,
As long as I agree…

© Llew Beaton 15 February 2005

Notes

Explanatory notes for pc activists: 1. This poet is being sarcastic.
2. This poet is being sarcastic. 3. This poet is being sarcastic.
DO NOT SEND FAN MAIL!!!
PS. Mail is a sexist term. PPS. Maybe send Fan Femail.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/correctile-dysfunction/