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Dream Team From Back In The Day

John J O’Connor

Friday, February 21st, 2025

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I don’t want my players pressing
Or trying to do the block
To hell with your false number nines
And players falling with each knock.
You can keep your inside wing backs
Your sixty minute subs
Players getting signed by big teams
Then getting loaned to other clubs.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 My coach I’ll call The Manager
Mister – boss – or gaffer
I’d like their name to be Bob or Bill
Not Jurgen, Pep or Rafa.
They can set their stall and park the bus
Join the players in having laughs
But please may I not catch them
Showing subs those stupid graphs.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Now my netminder must catch the ball
Saving goals is his contribution
Forget about the footwork stuff
And your passing distribution.
He’ll wear a hat to shield the sun
Stop his head becoming toast
And make sure at every corner kick
To have two men on the post.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 My full backs must be cumbersome
And slightly overweight
Two footed tackles are acceptable
If they’re within a minute late.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 My center half will be lean and lanky
Uncompromising, dour and craggy
Gritty, composed, conservative
His dad probably voted Maggie.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 My midfielders will be Generals
Dynamic, Canny, schemers
Fiery, chopping ball winners
And skilled creative dreamers.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 My wingers will be wiry
Temperamental, Scottish, wee
Whose socks will be around their ankles
As they glide past their man with glee.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 My center forward will be Saxon/Welsh
Bustling, powerful and prolific
He’ll like to use his elbows
And his broken nose will look horrific
He likes his pint and gambles
Has a sneaky half time fag
But when he connects his laces with the ball
It finds the onion bag.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Preferably the venue for these matches
Will be a mud bath of a ground
Where slide tackles fly
“ OI REF! THE FANS CRY”
And admission is just half a crown.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Talking of refs; he must be bald
And even semi blind
Because the fans need things to shout at him
To try and change his mind.
The terrace fans will chant the name
Of their favourite superstar
And one thing we definitely won’t have
Is that bloody V.A.R.

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/dream-team-from-back-in-the-day/

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