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England, oh England

joe morris

Wednesday, June 26th, 2024

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Thank goodness for that
Unbearably slow
90 minutes of slow motion
England reduced to walking pace
Just strolling along the prom
Tedious as the Test Card
If only they’d finished
That last game of noughts
And crosses
Through to the next round
But, oh, for the doubts
Questions and reservations
Not nearly good enough
Against equally as sluggish
Slovenia
Surely the worst
Trio of displays
In Euros history
Still, top of their group
But then England gaze
Into the eyes
Of football’s
Distinguished European
Giants of the universe
And privately tremble
Italy, Spain, France,
Germany, even Portugal
On the evidence of last night
It’s a quick flight home
Back to this green and pleasant land
Not a hope, nor any sign
Of further progress
England, to all appearances
Like men tied together
With a thick rope
At times it felt like
A tug of war
Pulling and pushing
That Slovenian low
Block, Eastern bloc
Rather like pulling teeth
In that dentist’s chair
Go steady with those fillings
And gnashing molars
England, just painful and horrific
At times
Driving headlong into
Cul-de-sacs and
Infuriating traffic jams
Nowhere to go
Rice, Bellingham, Saka
And Foden too
Just trapped in
The land of nowhere
All tangled and twisted
Into a thousand knots
Hinting at goals
But just speculation and
Rumour, little
Concrete evidence
Of where this might lead
It could be
That Gareth’s 11
Could be testing the water
Palmer and Mainoo
Could they be the
Definitive answer?
England, jabbing and sparring
Tentatively and agonisingly
Sporadic hooks and upper cuts
But nothing that suggests
European Champions
We doubt it
Searching for treasures
And yet last night
Barricaded in
Entrances locked
Staggering and stumbling
Through dark alleyways
Italy, France, Germany,
Spain and Portugal
You can almost hear
Them giggling like
Schoolboys with
Victorious conkers
Sorry Gareth
Much more of last night
And it’s a plane
For Gareth Southgate
Your time may be up
We hope not

Notes

England are held to goal-less draw against Slovenia but how much more of this can England supporters bear? They’re through to the next round but, on the evidence of last night’s goal-less bore, how much further can they progress in Euro 2024. We hope it’s the European Championship Final but there’s more chance of yours truly walking on the Moon. Come on England.

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/england-oh-england/