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Foot and Mouth

Peter Goulding

Monday, August 7th, 2006

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Bold Roddy states
Cork’s loss dictates
The Eircom League’s regressing.
He finds it sad
Their form was bad,
And claims it is depressing.
Back when he played
And plied his trade
Our teams were oft outsmarted
And Cork’s loss shows,
Despite our pose,
We’re back to where we started.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 He says we should
Eschew for good
The major competitions.
UEFA Cup?
Sure, give it up!
We can’t pass the auditions.
The powers that be
Should now feel free
To bar us and refuse us,
For we belong
Right down among
The Intertoto losers.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Oh Lord, look down
Upon this clown
With pity and with mercy.
He’s either jarred
Or trying hard
To stir up controversy.
When he was young,
Our clubs were hung
And dried at every quarter.
But things improve,
We’re on the move,
Ask any true supporter.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The facts are plain,
Despite disdain –
Four first rounds safely bettered.
The nerves were gone,
We all strode on,
Unbridled and unfettered.
Our moon’s not waned,
Results we gained
Were all quite unsurprising,
And year on year
It’s very clear
Our co-efficient’s rising.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 So Cork’s slight blip
Brings out the chip
On Roddy’s padded shoulder?
And now we crave
A darkened cave,
Complete with cave-sized boulder.
Carlisle, DC
And Rovers – three
He all but relegated.
Lord, how come he
Is on TV,
Outspoken and outdated?

© Peter Goulding August 7th 2006

Notes

After Cork City’s 3-0 defeat to Red Star Belgrade in the Champions League, the lovely Roddy Collins came out and said Irish clubs had not progressed in the last 20 years and we all should stick to the Intertoto. This despite Derry knocking out Gothenburg in the last round of the UEFA Cup, and all four Irish representatives sailing through their respective first round ties.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/foot-and-mouth/