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FOOT and PRESS DISEASE

John J O’Connor

Saturday, April 20th, 2002

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Middle East homes are being destroyed,
villages turned to soot,
but all that England cares about is David Beckham’s foot.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 4 years ago he was, the nations enemy number one.
Now to the two faced press and public,
he’s blightys favorite son.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 It’s not as if he is a genius, even when not lame,
it’s just they need a hero, and Beckham is his name.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Willing to forgive, missed penalties against Deutchland,
but not Bonneti, Revie, or Maradonna’s hand.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 They blamed Ramsey in 73, and Tomasheski the diving Pole,
whose only crime that evening, was to superbly defend his goal.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 They slagged off Bobby Robson, and hated Graham Taylor,
saying both of them were useless, and both of them a failure.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Now they are the bees knees again, they cannot do no wrong,
as the press laugh at their eccentricities, and Joe Public goes along.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 They built up poor old Gazza, because in the semi’s of 90 he cried,
then slowly tore him down, as in his private life they pried.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Venables was their favorite, that was plain to see,
as he let the press in his club ‘Scribes’ where they could drink for free.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 So you drink for nowt, in a top class club, where a pint it costs a fiver,
their’s no way you will write next day, that EL TEL’s a conniver.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 As a country becomes intimate with a left foot, which I think is sad,
Blair loves the deflection as he gets ready to bomb Baghad.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Each day about his foot, the papers will be full,
with a tiny paragraph, on page 10, about a massacre in Kabul.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 So a nation will hold its breath, while a physician removes his cast,
and if it’s unsuccessful, flags will be flying at half mast.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 The country will consist, of 50 million mourners,
and in the House of Commons, they’ll debate who’ll now take corners.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 If it is successful,—there’ll be national mass hysteria,
” bring on the Swedes, the Argies, and the Eagles of Nigeria.

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 The press have built him up now, nearly to the top,
but if the World Cup disappoints, they will quickly let him drop.

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 They’ll say he had an affair, with a geisha girl in Tokyo.
and posh was playing, away from home
with a scouser called – Pinnochio.

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Poor Brooklyn won’t go unscathed, just because he’s three,
the press will accuse him maliciously, of using L.S.D.

19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 So as I end up this poem to, — go out and get pissed,
it will be just my luck, that in the pub I’ll be next to a chiropodist.

© John J O’Connor

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/foot-and-press-disease/