|

Havin’ a Bit of Trouble

mark merriman

Saturday, March 24th, 2007

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Buffoon Frank Spencer tried his best
to pass a Royal Air Force test:
by putting shapes in different holes
he would achieve his entire goals.
He tried to do it really quick
so he wouldn’t be labelled thick,
but placed the shapes erroneously
thus making his instructor seethe.
For Frank Spencer read McClaren (Steve),
it’s enough to make you heave;
he’s clearly havin’ a bit of trouble,
please replace him at the double.
The car’s hurtling towards the cliff,
we can only stop it if
the brakes are applied right now
and Steve McClaren takes a bow.
The massive chimney’s crashing down,
chasing the departing clown
who hasn’t got what it takes:
the fool – he’s wearing roller skates.
Doing up the famous mac,
clearly heading for the sack;
he’s ready to face the wrath
of journo’s foaming at the mouth.
Might have to get on the dog and bone
as many Cockneys call the phone
and make a call direct to Spain
to speak to former captain:
“Ooh Becksy, havin’ a bit of trouble.
Please prepare that manly stubble
to play in next game v Andorra;
your country really needs yer.”

© mark merriman sept 2004

Notes

Another abject display by our national team. So many players being played out of position it reminded me of the famous episode from ‘Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em. Square pegs in round holes or what. Maclaren is proving that he doesn’t, nor ever will have, what it takes.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/havin-a-bit-of-trouble/