“Honouring The System”
¶ 1
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In the extremely unlikely circumstance
Where I was offered a gong
Would I choose to accept it
When selling out my principles is wrong?
I’m not from African stock
So no forebears turning in their grave
I wouldn’t say ‘Yes’ for the attention
That’s not what I crave.
I’m just an ordinary fella
Who grew up in a council flat
Now well into middle age
All I’ve got is worthless tat.
Football egg cups from Hamburg
A toy football lorry from Cologne
If you think that’s more than a little weird
Trust me I’m not alone.
Us football fans are magpies
We don’t do things by halves
Boxes and cupboards packed tight with
Assorted programmes, hats and scarves.
I don’t believe in the honours system
Reserved for cronies from hell
But I’m sure a medallion from the Queen
Is just the thing for Ebay to sell.
I wouldn’t accept for the honour
It’s not all about me,me,me…
But I’d love those posh crust-free sandwiches
With a dainty bone china cup of tea.
But most of all I couldn’t resist
The chance of a Buckingham Palace pony
Unable to turn down a crap on her porcelain throne
Despite the honours system being baloney.
Actually, maybe I won’t flog it
I quite like the Dulwich Poet M.B.E.
And if you’re not sure I’m serious
Go ahead and nominate me.
In August 2016 it was reported that the former professional footballer Howard Gayle, the first black player to appear for Liverpool, and involved in the ‘Show Racism The Red Card’ campaign, had turned down an MBE as it would be ‘a betrayal to the Africans who suffered at the hands of the British Empire.