How Do You Plead?
¶ 1
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‘Ladies, gents of the jury
Prepare yourselves for this ghastly story.
‘Cause today we’ve brought before you all
a very poor fan of football.
¶ 2
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A man who doesn’t go or much know or really care
Unless he’s told of what might unfold
From the comfort of his armchair.
¶ 3
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Who confesses that on a Sunday he likes to do a spot of gardening
Get his callouses hardening
Or else simply do nothing
¶ 4
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Before giving his face a good stuffing
With the latest Sunday joint.
Whilst his team are scrapping
For a hard-earned point.
¶ 5
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He doesn’t think he should be down the lane
In the rain & snow
He says that’s just a lot of money down the drain
And that he’s got bills to pay, you know.’
¶ 6
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‘I’m sorry but football’s just not that thick in my blood.
That’s all I’ve got to say m’lud.’
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