|

I Forgot I Had A Drugs Test

Peter Goulding

Thursday, October 9th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I forgot I had a drugs test,
The cat was having kittens.
Its daft to think I’ve things to hide.
Sure aren’t we all Great Britons?
We just don’t do that sort of thing,
We’re not that sort of race.
How can I be telling fibs?
I’ve got an honest face.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I forgot I had a drugs test,
For we were moving house.
I had to mind the spider plants
For my beloved spouse.
It went right out my little mind,
I realise that it oughtn’t,
But what is all the fuss about?
It isn’t that important.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I forgot I had a drugs test,
So I did not turn up,
But why should that debar me from
The European Cup?
I gave my explanation and
I think it’s quite sufficient.
If you can’t understand that
Then you’re mentally deficient.

© Peter Goulding 9th October 2003

Notes

Oh dear, I feel a rant coming on!
Why the lukewarm reaction to Rio Ferdinand “forgetting” he had a drugs test? At the very best, he’s guilty of gross stupidity and irresponsibility, which is not what you expect from a seasoned international. At worst, he’s attempted to pervert the course of justice.
Could the tacit “understanding of his situation” be because he’s important to England? I’m reminded very much of Linford Christie failing a drugs test in Seoul, but everyone accepted his explanation that he’d eaten some fruit. I’m sure that other people would not have been so readily believed.
In case anyone thinks this is an anti-English rant, the same situation applied to Roy Keane in Saipan. If say Jason McAteer had done a Keane, there’d have been no sympathy for him. But because Keane was vital to the Irish cause, there was a concerted attempt to justify his actions and turn him into some kind of martyr.
I feel that the more experienced a player is, the harder he should be slammed should he stray. The question of how much he is needed should not come into it.
End of rant.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/i-forgot-i-had-a-drugs-test/