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I saw Nothing

Denys E. W. Jones

Thursday, December 9th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 There’s a match at Villa Park,
Floodlights on because it’s dark.
“I see nothing, I see nothing.” Says Arsène.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Forty thousand pairs of eyes
Could have sworn that Henry dived.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Said Arsène.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 And though few would have denied
Patrick Vieira was offside.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Said Arsène.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 There’s no if, no but, no maybe,
He repeats just like a baby:
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” – That’s Arsène…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 There were stomach-churning scenes
At the Theatre of Dreams.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Said Arsène.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 See those red and yellow cards
Being dished out thick and fast.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Said Arsène.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 And they left poor old Van Nistel
Like he’d been whipped with a pistol.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Said Arsène.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Show him stick or show him carrot,
He just chirrups like a parrot:
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” – That’s Arsène…

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 If his players out at night
Sink a few too many pints.
“I know nothing, I know nothing.” Says Arsène.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 If they drive flash cars at speed,
Snort cocaine or puff on weed.
“I know nothing, I know nothing.” Says Arsène.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 If they blow their dosh on tarts,
Windows claims he’s in the dark.
“I know nothing, I know nothing.” Says Arsène.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 When his men are in the dock,
He’s just like the speaking clock:
“I know nothing, I know nothing.”- That’s Arsène…

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 And does he recall the day
That they bumped off JFK?
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Says Arsène.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Armstrong made his Giant Leap,
Wenger must have been asleep.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Says Arsène.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Berlin Wall came tumblin’ down,
Where was Windows? – Snoring sound.
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” Says Arsène.

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Once again, the old refrain,
C’est toujours la meme rengaine:
“I saw nothing, I saw nothing.” – That’s Arsène…

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 If you ask him: “What’s your game?”
Or enquire ‘bout who’s to blame.
“I know nothing, I saw nothing.” Says Arsène.

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 If you tell him to ‘fess up,
You’ll be wholly out of luck.
“I know nothing, I saw nothing.” Says Arsène.

19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 When that Reaper Grim arrives
And gets set to swing his scythe,
When it’s time for Windows Wenger to bow out,

20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 We all know what he will say,
Even on his Dying Day:
“I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nowt …”

21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 9/11/03
Denys E. W. Jones

© 13/1/04

Notes

Written last year, some weeks after the infamous Battle of Old Trafford, this poem is an ironic commentary on what one British newspaper called Monsieur Wenger’s “selective blindness”.
Don’t get me wrong, actually I quite like Monsieur Wenger, he has got the Gunners playing attractive, attacking football, thanks to him it is not longer always “one-nil to the Arsenal”.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/i-saw-nothing/