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In a sheepskin coat

michael spring

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I wanted to read the news,
Snuggled up with Natasha,
Mug of tea at the ready.
“Now over to our news teams
Across the UK”
I could have done that.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “Julian Dicks is everywhere
It looks like they’re playing eleven Dicks.”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I definitely did not say that.
But now, up a gantry in Hull
The wind direct from the Arctic
Even a sheepskin coat
Doesn’t buy you immunity
From Colemanballs.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 “And Bell’s going down the middle
Ball’s outside.”

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 That absolutely was not me.
That was years ago,
When it was just highlights.
You could get away with things
Couple of pints to the VT editors.
Result? Dignity intact.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 “Either side could win this.
Failing that, it could be a draw.”

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 And that was a so-called expert!
Right now, I’m cold, feeling old
Too tired do post-match interviews
While they fart and throw pizza
And all I want to do
Is go home.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 “When do think you’ll be back
In the fray, Wayne?”
“I don’t know.
I’ve never had knee surgery
On any other part of my body.”
See. It’s not just us.

© michael spring

Notes

A lot of wonderful things have been said in error, on the radio and TV. And it has to be said that being a commentator must require a certain amount of resilience. This is submitted in total deference to the commentator’s unique skills.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/in-a-sheepskin-coat/