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Jock and the Beans’ Talk

HUGH MORRIS

Friday, March 25th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Once upon a time,
Diggin’ his veg’table patch,
Jock McDram was thinkin’
‘Bout a foo’ball match..
Forfar versus Rangers,
In th’ Scottish Cup,
Nex’ thing he heard voices,
Which made him look up..
“Forfar four Rangers nil!”
Followed by three cheers,
“Forfar four Rangers nil!”
Jock could scarce believe his ears..
‘Twas th’ green beans talkin’,
Down there in th’ soil,
So aul’ Jock stopped workin’
An’ put aside his toil…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “Yer stringin’ me along?” he growled,
“Tell me wha’ this means..”
“Four-nil Forfar” they replied,
“Now we’ve spilt th’ beans…”
A fertile imagination
Lay inside Jock’s head,
Ideas were germinatin’
Over wha’ th’ beans had said..
So he got on t’ his bike,
Pedalled into town,
Drew his savin’s from th’ bank
An’ put th’ cash all down
Wi’ th’ local bookmaker,
Slipp’ry Sam McSwill,
Thousan’ t’ one seemed good odds
On Forfar four t’ nil…

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Nex’ day it was Saturday
An’ Jock could hardly wait
For th’ results upon th’ radio,
After th’ News at Eight..
At last came th’ announcement
In precise an’ measured tones,
“Forfar nil, Ranger………”
Th’ rest was drowned out by Jock’s groans…
He lost all his money
But still loves th’ game,
Livin’ in a one-room flat
Tha’ he now calls hame,
Meanwhile th’ talkin’ veg’tables
No longer make a sound,
They’re just a bunch o’ has-beans,
Wilted in th’ ground…

© Llew Beaton 25 March 2005

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/jock-and-the-beans-talk/