ManUfactured
¶ 1
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The Prem is ManUfactured
The Football League is fractured
A terrible decision
To split the four divisions
¶ 2
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The Hillsborough occurrence
Lamented with abhorrence
Was everyone’s excuse
To let the wolfpack loose
¶ 3
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John Hall and Freddie Shepherd
Were lurking like a leopard
But following the buy-out
We watched the millions fly out
¶ 4
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Were they enthusiastic
Installing all that plastic
But debts they rose in mountains
In tandem with accountants
¶ 5
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The capitalisation
Led to a realisation
It wasn’t such a doddle
And taxing on the noddle
¶ 6
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We’ve sold out to the slimeballs
Your Shepherds and your Doug Halls
Pursue the kick-back culture
With cunning of the vulture
¶ 7
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And armies of freeloaders
Who constantly corrode us
The agents with their bungs-oh
And business tricks so gung-ho
¶ 8
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The top flight’s globalising
With tacky merchandising
And boy it’s less than thrilling
To watch them make a killing
¶ 9
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The club strip wearing horde
They do us proud abroad
They’ve spread across the lands
With brass bands in the stands
¶ 10
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And season ticket fossils
Are getting up our nozzles
Week in week out they sit there
Upon their backsides four-square
¶ 11
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No singing now or chanting
Just loud bad-tempered ranting
Where once in donkey jacket
Folks stood and made a racket
¶ 12
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And so we’re all diminished
The English League is finished
In hock to greedy papers
And players media capers
¶ 13
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No empty terrace filling
As in the mob comes spilling
A bit the worse for wear
And trouble in the air
¶ 14
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Your place behind the net
With folks you’ve never met
No longer to be found
Inside the rebuilt ground
¶ 15
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Your fashion-conscious Chelsea
No place for Auntie Elsie
At 40 quid a ticket
She’d rather see the cricket
¶ 16
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There’s plenty more just like her
From Denton Burn to Byker
From Longsight to Old Trafford
And Leicester Hull and Stafford
¶ 17
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Clubs are bigger in Malaysia
And other parts of Asia
So frankly you can keep them
My comments you can bleep them
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