Mourinho Wasn’t There
¶ 1
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The London streets were swathed in mist,
Suspicion filled the air.
In drizzling rain,
They searched in vain –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 2
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His picture was in all the news,
So suave and debonair.
Did he attend?
Oh no, my friend,
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 3
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All along the old King’s Road,
They searched each park and square,
Those fools who thought
He could be caught! –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 4
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The sergeant did not see a thing,
As far as he’s aware.
That icy blast
That just blew past?
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 5
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Strategically they staked the ground,
And kept watch on his lair,
But sad to say,
He stayed away –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 6
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They grilled each fan and checked I.D.
And tugged all facial hair.
Deeds underfoot
Suspected, but
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 7
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Detectives monitored the bench
And noted every stare,
And cameras panned
The Chelsea stand –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 8
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UEFA chiefs all gnashed their teeth
And broke down in despair,
For he’s too smart,
A man apart! –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 9
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Who was that guy in woollen coat
Beyond the floodlight’s glare?
It couldn’t be!
For patently
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 10
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That damned elusive pimpernel
Prepared his ground with care.
Invisible?
That’s risible –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 11
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His aura settled o’er the ground,
So palpable and rare.
But no-one saw
His features for
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 12
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Cole and Drogba, one apiece,
While Lampard grabbed a pair.
Thus Kahn and Co.
Were trounced although
Mourinho wasn’t there.
¶ 13
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Many tried to catch him out
In this bizarre affair.
An exposé?
No way José –
Mourinho wasn’t there.
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