Nine Thousand Poems Shining
¶ 1
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I went into a Job Centre
In search of gainful work.
I wore a nice, sharp pinstriped suit,
Black tie and clean, white shirt.
¶ 2
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They bade me sit down at a desk,
Fill in a form or two.
Then asked me loads of questions
To see what I could do:
¶ 3
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“Can you lay bricks or cables?
Can you drive a truck or car?
Can you wait on folk at tables,
Or mix cocktails in a bar?
¶ 4
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Have you communication skills?
D’you speak clear on the phone?
Could you strike fear into debtors
Who have not paid back their loans?
¶ 5
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Can you sell things to people
That they do not really need?
(Insurance, vacuum cleaners, timeshares,
Gardening tools or seeds.)
¶ 6
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Can you cook a Chicken Tikka,
Or a red hot Vindaloo?
Can you pull a pint of Bitter?
Can you unblock drains or loos?
¶ 7
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Among the trades we’ve listed,
If there’s any you can do,
Then there’s a chance we just might have
A well-paid job for you…”
¶ 8
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This interview concluded,
I gave a shrug and sighed.
Stood up, made for the exit,
Yet before I left replied:
¶ 9
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“I can’t do any of these things,
I haven’t got a hope.
I s’pose you think my coming here
Was some kind of sick joke.
¶ 10
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But check the Football Poets’ site,
And here’s what you will see:
Nine thousand poems shining.
Nine thousand poems shining.
Nine thousand poems shining.
With one or two by me!”
¶ 11
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22/2/07
Denys E. W. Jones
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