Rabbit Burns
¶ 1
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Wee Willie P. McHaggis
Was Curator at th’ groun’
Which was th’ venue for home games
O’ Killiecuddie Town,
As a hobby he bred rabbits
Whose pink noses had a twitch,
An’ ev’ry week he took ’em down,
T’ keep th’ grass short on th’ pitch…
¶ 2
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One day at th’ foo’ball field,
While he watched his bunnies munch,
Willie stretched out for a nap,
Having had a wee dram wi’ his lunch,
It wasna lang thereafter
Tha’ his head began t’ tilt,
But as Wee Willie soundly slept,
Two rabbits burrowed up his kilt…
¶ 3
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Willie woke wi’ a howl o’ pain,
Almost did th’ highland fling,
Then ran bawlin’ for th’ office
T’ gi’ th’ ambulance a ring,
At th’ hospital th’ doctor said,
“Those rabbits nibbled on yer wares,”
‘Twas then Wee Willie realised
He’d been breedin’ pubic hares…
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