The Football Theory of English Literature
¶ 1
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Did Jimmy Hendrix write ‘Purple Haze’
Thinking of Fiorentina
and Gabriel Battistuta drifting into space?
If he did, it would have been a premonition
As remarkable as Herman Melville’s,
Creator of the ‘white whale’
(proud, vengeful, ultimately doomed)
Which clearly, on one level, is the England team,
Or that of Mrs Gaskell,
Whose ‘North and South’ is, to any tutored eye,
A thesis on why southern jessies
Can’t compete with northern hard men
(Julian Dicks excepted).
I’m now going back to ‘ the Old Curiosity Shop’,
To see if there’s anything there
About Charlton.
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