The Plagiarist’s Football Ode
¶ 1
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We’ve wandered lonely as a cloud
To understand the rest of the crowd
And from here to meet upon the heath,
Where football fans can gnash their teeth.
¶ 2
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Alas poor success I knew him, Hooray!
To know is to love and dream of today,
Whether to suffer the Trings and Harrows
Of outrageous pitches and rotten furrows.
¶ 3
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Food, food everywhere
From a hut the Burgers they’ll make.
I sated my hunger without a care
And how my gut does ache.
¶ 4
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Floodlights, floodlights burning bright
Glaring despair as black as night.
This ancient manager is wholly dross
The entire back four, his albatross.
¶ 5
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There’s a whisper down the line
That he’s sacked our Number 9
And the Club are being sold to a billionaire.
But the truth’s a bitter pill,
The Number 9 is just ill
And the sale is to a butchers son from Ware.
¶ 6
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And did those feet in ancient time
Walk on the terrace of the team sublime.
That do so tread as dread with fear
The relegation now that looms so near.
¶ 7
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The quality of mercy is not strained
It relieves the look that is so pained.
The look that says the season’s over
– For a few months now a jilted lover.
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