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The Team That Cannot Score

Peter Goulding

Monday, May 31st, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Manager of Derry is the job that no-one likes,
Unwanted first by Dermot Keely, now by Gavin Dykes.
The Goal of the Month competition, they’ve chosen to ignore,
For they’ve gained the reputation as The Team That Cannot Score.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Defence-wise, they are not too bad, they’re quite well organised.
Teams that think they’re easy are unpleasantly surprised.
But the grass that’s in the goalmouth is now two feet high or more.
Opposing keepers doze while playing The Team That Cannot Score.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 They want to play in Europe and they think they should be let,
Despite the fact that they’ve forgotten how to find the net.
In order to achieve this goal, they’re threatening the law,
A goal too far, one’s thinking, for The Team That Cannot Score.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 They want to oust poor Longford from a European spot,
Undeterred if people think its justified or not.
Apart from all the rights and wrongs, there’s one important flaw –
What’s the point competing if The Team Just Cannot Score?

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Defenders playing Derry tend to stand around and chatter.
In football terms the back four could be hardly any flatter.
For many Derry fans, this surely is the final straw,
But what can one expect when playing The Team That Cannot Score?

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Their modesty in front of goal is really rather charming,
Although I’m sure the Candystripes are finding it alarming.
Far better than the arrogance displayed in days of yore,
I’m mellowing quite quickly to The Team That Cannot Score.

© Peter Goulding 31st May 2004

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-team-that-cannot-score/