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The World’s Best Game

HUGH MORRIS

Saturday, April 24th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Heinrich B. von Schmellingfaart,
Professor of Biology,
Sat thinking in his office
At the University,
He said to his best student,
(Jurgen Schweinhund was his name)
“I vill create ein zuperman
To play ze vorld’s best game…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 You’re ze ideal candidate,
For you are ztronk und big,
Zo lie down on ze zofa
Und be mein guinea pig…”
The student did as he was told,
Had electrodes wired on to his head,
Then the Prof. switched on the power
And this is what he said…

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 “Beckenbauer, Pele,
Puskas und George Best,
Maradona, Ztanley Matt’ews,
Ronaldo, Beckham und ze rest,
I vill implant your magic zkills
Into younk Jurgen’s brain,
Und give him great ability
To play ze vorld’s best game…”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Just then the Secretary walked in,
(A Miss Deutschland finalist)
Jurgen sprang up to his feet
And passionately kissed
The lovely lass upon the lips,
Then he pulled her down
On to the bouncy sofa,
Where they squirmed and rolled around…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 “DONNER UND BLITZEN!!!” screamed the Prof.
As they began to gasp and moan,
“YOU MUST PLAY ZE VOOTBALL JA,
UND LEAVE ZE GIRLS ALONE…”
But von Schmellingfaart had got it wrong,
As the pair could surely vouch,
Because the best game in the world
Is Rugby on the couch…

© Llew Beaton 24 April 2004.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-worlds-best-game/