Where are they now? Still together, still confused
¶ 1
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Not so much Melksham U-12’s
As Whelksham Under the tables
Now golden oldies, groan old and selfish
Muscles have long since turned to flab
No longer can they term themselves ab-fab
Perrier winkles won’t crease their faces
Not after frequenting so many boozy places
The shout of ‘oi, star!’ not often heard
When we review this team, so absurd
Where are they now? Still together, still confused
Their manager’s touchline comments, leave us bemused :
¶ 2
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1. Christ, Chris, you make me cross,
you’re supposed to boss the box
so you can take the blame, for this loss
2. Christ, Chris, cut out the c**p and give it a rest,
get out there and honour the crest
3. oh crikey, Christopher, so upper crust,
do pass please, if one must
4. crisis? What crisis?
5. cry sis? What ails you so? Is it because, we’re all so slow?
6. Christ, Chris, you’re so crass,
not so much donkey, as complete jackass
7. Christ, Chris, stop gazing after that crystal ball,
look ahead clearly and answer the team’s call
8. Christ, Chris, forget about the kids and the missus,
score some goals and celebrate with kisses
9. Christ, Chris, would you ever christen those boots,
get them dirty and learn how to shoot
10. jaysus Christy, stop having a paddy,
your minds still on the golf course and the caddy
11. zut alors, Christophe! the going got tough, so you pissed off
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