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Who’s Hugh

HUGH MORRIS

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Hugh Morris: football poet
born in Kirkcaldy,
founder of the Centre for
Raithroversology..
Rumoured that in infancy
was pushed in the pram
wrapped in a Raith Rovers scarf,
sipping a wee dram..
School teachers reported,
“Could do better if he tried..”
but not for Hugh light blue or hoops,
just Kirkcaldy’s Pride..
Conscripted to the Army,
3rd Forth Fife Fusiliers,
dishonourably discharged
after being AWOL for two years..
Then young Hugh met his match,
her name was Sue McBirch,
they married one November
in the Presleyterian Church..
Such a devoted couple
upon their wedding day,
both missed the reception
to watch Raith Rovers play..
Next year Hugh became a Dad
(he said nothing could be finer)
the lass was christened Doris
and nicknamed “Morris Minor”..
An extra mouth to feed each day
consumed his pounds and pence,
so when he went to watch his team,
climbed over the fence..
“It displayed mair dedication
than goin’ through th’ gate..”
was what Hugh maintained in court
to the Magistrate..
Who said, “Sentenced t’ six months in jail,
suspended an’ all that stuff,
because bein’ a staunch Raith Rovers fan
is punishment enough..”
Apart from watching football
Hugh plays dominoes and cards
at the Viagra Social Club
with other old diehards..
But, as amnesia and incontinence
announce advancing age,
he is contemplating
how to leave life’s stage..
Would like to have his ashes
scattered at Starks Park
after a Raith Rovers match,
just as it’s getting dark..
And one final last request
old Hugh has to make,
that “O Come All Ye Raithful”
be sung at the Wake..
Asked about his poetry,
all that he will say,
“Nae guid for makin’ money,
’cause rhyme doesna pay..”
Football poet and Raith Rovers fan,
a true Patron of the Arts,
read more in his memoirs
called, “Hugh’s Private Parts”…

© Llew Beaton 21 July 2005

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/whos-hugh/