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World Cup 2006 Day Twenty Five

Peter Goulding

Monday, July 3rd, 2006

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Can you hear the drums, Ronaldo?

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Cristiano, can you hear the drums a-beating?
Can you feel the latent menace they convey?
The media’s decided you were cheating,
And that, Seòor, is not the British way.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 From savage Lindisfarne to wild Goonhilly,
The natives spit whene’er they hear your name.
Young Wayne might be impetuous and silly,
But at least he plays the spirit of the game.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Owens’ blatant dives ‘gainst Argentina,
Gary Neville poleaxed by fresh air,
Lampard wailing like a sick hyena –
These are all legitimate and fair.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Sure, Rooney was a little bit frustrated,
And yes, he’s shown a soupçon of remorse,
But he was forced to play a role outdated
(By another foreigner, of course)

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Stamping on the groin of a defender
Is part and parcel of this robust sport.
If contact is removed from the agenda,
There wouldn’t be much passion to report.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Canavaro’s histrionics were disgraceful,
You’d think he was convulsed by mortal pain.
But giving that poor referee a face full
Is symptomatic of a sleazy brain.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Prepare yourself for hell now, Cristiano,
You’re chosen as the scapegoat for defeat.
A pinch of salt, or even oregano,
Won’t save you when the press turn up the heat.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 They booed the greatest football player ever,
While playing in a charity event.
Twenty years too long for grudges? Never!
The wave of hatred never will relent.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 For bullying the ref, and then for winking,
Your effigy will be strung up and burnt.
Your prospects of a future there are shrinking.
A salutary lesson must be learnt.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Frings

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Semi-final’s all he had to cling to (cling to)
Now he must endure a one-match ban.
It’s a game his missus would bring bling to (bling to)
Now she knows she will not see her man.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Thinking ‘bout
Frings – who must step aside,
Frings – who will be denied
Frings – his teeth will clench
Watching sadly from the bench,
Frings – oh he can’t appear,
Frings – he might shed a tear,
Thinking ‘bout the Frings I used to know.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Punches – how he rues he had to fling two (fling two)
When the time got sorely out of joint.
When Herr Klinsmann called, how he would spring to, (spring to)
Now he wonders if there’s any point.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Thinking ‘bout
Frings – who’s a tad irate,
Frings – who will just spectate
Frings – his fate was tough
When Sepp Blatter called enough.
Frings – no biting tackles,
Frings – to raise the hackles,
Thinking ‘bout the Frings I used to know

© Peter Goulding 3rd July 2006

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/world-cup-2006-day-twenty-five/