A Dark Stormy Pint

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 A bunch of boozers were whooping it up in the Bigot and Braggart saloon
The big fat oaf with the pint in his hand was “simply over the moon”
When out of the night, which was cold and dark, and into the warmth of the bar
There strode a gooner fresh from the match, quite happy but needing a jar

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 He looked like a man with places to go, and not much time to stay
But he called for a pint of Worthingtons, and opened his wallet to pay
A hefty boor, the local wag, glancing smugly round the room
Said “It’s grubby in ‘ere, ‘e don’t need a beer.” “Can you get this man a broom”?

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 When no one laughed, he thought he’d push some more
His objective, with much invective, to send the stranger packing
through the door
He had to dig, couldn’t give a fig, about the big man’s burly build
And with a jostle, the bonehead fossil, saw to it beer was spilled

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 “They allow coons to watch as well as play?” the oaf was blind to danger
The gooner picked him up from his stool, like a baby from a manger
The loudmouth tried to throw a punch, which the gooner dodged with ease
And forced the loudmouth to the floor, struggling on his knees

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The fat loudmouth was flailing wild, all shouting, pushing, and violence
And the gooner was holding him down like a child, and shushing him to silence
When the barman came to lend a hand, the battle was already over
And the loudmouth was sent to join the band, that drank at the Racist Rover

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The gooner quickly downed his ale, and smiled as he waved goodbye
He left the group with a tale to tell, and a twinkle in his eye
They still talk of him in the local bar, of that big man made of steel
Of that day after lunch, without throwing a punch, when he forced Loudmouth to kneel.


just fun – i’ll accept the decision of the censor

Editors note : the third stanza was revised after some objections to the wording used.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/a-dark-stormy-pint/