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Get in the Bin!!

Phil Brennan

Tuesday, May 26th, 2026

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Before the match, the rituals begin,
A sacred routine to guarantee a win.
Lucky boxers worn only on game day,
Lucky socks with heels and toes worn away.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Beans on burnt toast, the champion’s feast,
Right trainer first or the curse is unleashed.
Phone on silent, doorframe gets a touch,
Salute every magpie, but once only, never too much.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 You superstitious fool, you’ve done all you can,
Your team’s gonna win, that’s always the plan.
But VAR is in place, you can do nothing about that,
A bloke in a bunker ruining games, a joyless sad twat.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 “Checking possible offside,” the tannoy declares,
And the whole stadium sinks into collective despairs.
Half the crowd’s praying, the other half’s in dread,
While the referee hears bunker bloke’s voice in his head.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Twenty minutes later, after seventeen views,
“The striker’s toenail was offside’” is the news.
The goal that sent you mental? Chalked off with glee,
VAR is ruining football, it’s bordering obscene.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 It kills the pure joy of the ball hitting the net,
Waiting for bunker bloke’s decision, and the ensuing upset.
But next week we’ll all be back in our seats,
Repeating the rituals and daft little feats.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Because football’s an illness, a lifelong affliction,
Built on false hope, rage, and blind superstition.
We’ll moan, we’ll swear, draw, lose or win,
Because we all agree that VAR can get in the bin!

Notes

No more words needed!!!

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Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/get-in-the-bin/