“In The Hat”

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Can anyone explain
The fixation
With a home draw?
Nothing more than a bore.
First thing out of my mouth
Avoid all those from the Conference South
If we Le Bromlei over in France
Won’t be in with much of a chance
Tie from hell is Boreham Wood
Been there far more times
Than a sane man should.
Please no Basingstoke
Roundabout central
Or ideas above their station Whitehawk
Would drive me mental.
Nothing more beastly
Than being sent to Eastleigh
And certainly no thrill
To go to Havant & ‘looville.
There’s plenty of trips which can please
Not just crap trips
That make you sob on your knees.
Imagine going to a cup game on plane
Guernsey away would be really insane.
Although there’s untold I want to avoid
Plenty more to be enjoyed
Cambridge City at their Histon groundshare
At their old place I wouldn’t care
For the teams I want to pick
Must be a new ground for a tick.
Maybe Needham Market going east
As opposed to Tilbury who I’d like least.
In the other direction going west
Truro City would be the best.
How about an ‘either/or’
Brisol Manor Farm and Corsham
Would fit that for sure.
In an ideal world
We’d avoid Ryman Prem
Whoever they are
Don’t want to play them.
Rather uncharted clubs still in the pot
Shortwood, Yate Town or Didcot.
Doesn’t matter who we get
As long as we win
Any victory means
Over four grand in the bin!
But knowing our luck
It won’t be great
Probably drawn away
For a Chas ‘n’ dave date
And a Hamlet invasion
Dahn to Margate!



(It was the draw for the second qualifying round of the FA Cup earlier today. I wrote this on the train to work, before the draw had been made. Spookily…Dulwich Hamlet were drawn away to Margate!)

Editor’s note;

this site is for poets, not psychics! ūüėČ

spooky, as you say.

good luck!


Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/in-the-hat/