SPIT, SOB and SLIP on a rainy night in Moscow

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Water teeming from the Russian sky
as two great armies struggle,
to stay afoot in their quest
for the spoils of war in Moscow
a place where western leaders
of the past dreamt of reaching
but never, ever, got past the semi’s
knocked out on away weather being colder.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 As the battle became a stalemate
the leader of the blue army
stepped up in his bid to claim glory.
Seconds later, he wishes he would be
swallowed up by the uncaring ground,
that for centuries had devoured
the tanks, soldiers and heavy artillery
of Western Europe and Asia,
Tripped by the elements he failed.
Not to worry ‘It’s So English’.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Englishmen are not meant to convert
from the white spot at crucial times.
That department belongs to those
ghastly, cold blooded, Germans.
But maybe it was payback from
the gods of fair play for the
un-Saxon like gush of H2O
that he earlier expelled from his tongue
aimed at his unsuspecting Argentine target,
his captains arm cleverly trying to
camouflage the watery assault.
Like the Belgrano a sneak attack.
‘It’s So Un- English.’

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Now was the time for the stiff upper lip,
and encouragement for the ones
still to go over.
Rally your troops,
urge on the foreign mercenary
who sullenly strolls up, obviously uninterested.
Gee him on god-dammit.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 But no, the Captain weeps,
in a self indulgent sob in
as the mercenary misfires
and as the victors rejoice
the crying continues,
now in the arms
of his dole bound manager.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 “I’m now redeemed” he declares
within a week
to the adoring masses
as he scores against the passive yanks.
Soon there will be commercials
of him crying, missing and slipping.
God how we love our losers.
‘It’s So English.’

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 But will there be one of the fountain
that projected from his mouth
on that soaking night in Moscow.
I don’t think so.
“That’s not spittle, it’s rain”
cry his defenders.
“Only Johnny Foreigner would do something so vile,
and he is the England captain.
It would be so un English of him.”
So Un- English.



This will probably upset the CFC contingent, but Setanta television picked up on England and Chelsea Captain John Terry clearly spitting on the neck of Tevez of Man Utd during the European Cup final. After making the rounds on You tube for a couple of days before being lifted the matter has been dismissed as if it never happened. England Captain ?? Sir Bobby Moore must be turning in his grave.

Editor’s note :

Hi John, good to hear from you again.

As one of JT’s biggest fans, I have to say :
it’s hard to defend his actions 🙁

Good point, well made.


Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/spit-sob-and-slip-on-a-rainy-night-in-moscow/