Stretcher by golly wow!*

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 *With thanks to The Stylistics for inspiring the title

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 When you’re playing sport
and it’s hard fought
the magic sponge just isn’t enough
Your’re hurt and not too tough
In fact, you’re pulling faces of pain
Screaming like a girl
Writhing like a tin of fishermans maggots
And I betcha
The referee gives you a lecture
Tells the boys to go and fetcha
Norman Stanley Fletcher*

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The stretcher used to be
a bit of cloth with a carrying stick each side
You got carried off like a man captured by cannibals
When you’d only gone and wounded your pride

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Now we have a designated stretcher crew
With squad numbers 0001, 0002
You get the idea
Don’t know why they need four-figure squad numbers
Do they expect a rush of casualties to form a queue?
If they drop you, can you sue?



*Cockney Rhyming Slang
Norman Stanley Fletcher = stretcher (and if it isn’t – I just made it up)

In the ‘old days’ injured players were rolled off the pitch, or helped off, limping, by someone from the bench.

I await the launch of the sponsored first-aid sedan chair, with one-way curtains, a jacuzzi, and a mini-bar…

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/stretcher-by-golly-wow/