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Who’s gonna open the Scoring?

Denys E. W. Jones

Saturday, December 18th, 2004

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Once a teeny tiny tot stood upon the Gwlady Street,
Aged, I would guess, not a day more than three.
And he sang as he watched his heroes walk out on the pitch:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “Who’ll get the first goal, who’ll get the first goal,
Martin or Critchley or William Ralph Dean?”
And the crowd all took up that song–it echoed around Goodison:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Skip a half a century now, cut to the mid-seventies,
You’ll find a bloke aged about fifty-three.
Hairline that’s receding fast, he peers through a pair of specs:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 “Who’ll make the net bulge, who’ll make the net bulge,
Latchford or Goodlass or Dunc McKenzee?”
So he sang as he stood on that same spot on the Gwlady Street:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Time’s marched along and we’ve reached the Third Millenium,
There sits a chap who has lost all his teeth.
He’s so frail and infirm he must watch the match on telly now:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 “Who’ll be on target, who’ll be on target,
Carsley or Stubbsy? – Alas, not Roonee…”
So he sings as he watches the last match he might ever see:
“ Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Gaze into your crystal ball, ten or twelve years down the line,
You’ll find that man in the Town Cemetree.
But a deep, ghostly voice will be audible at Goodison:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 “Whose name will be the first on the scoresheet?”
Some player of yet unknown identitee.
And the crowd once again will all take up that heart-rending cry:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 “Open the scoring, open the scoring,
Who’s gonna open the scoring for me?”
They will sing as they sang at that fan’s first match so long ago:
“Who’s gonna open the scoring for me…?”

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 19/12/04
Denys E. W. Jones

© 19/12/04

Notes

This poem, or song, is a re-working of Australia’s unofficial national anthem, Waltzing Matilda, by A. B. “Banjo” Paterson. You must imagine the Everton fan who is its subject as being born in 1924, taken to his first match in season ’27-’28. Today he is about 80, and in ten or twelve years from now he will be a ghost who haunts Goodison on match days.
I am aware there is talk of building a new stadium, ground-sharing and so on, but personally, I hope it never happens, and as far as this poem is concerned, it does not happen…

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/whos-gonna-open-the-scoring/